NEWS MEDIA: YOUR STUPIDITY AND BIAS AGAINST MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE ARE SHOWING! AGAIN! STFU!

First, let me apologize for taking this harsh a position because I don’t know the actual facts of the situation.

But second, FUCK ALL YOU STUPID IGNORANT ASININE NEWS MEDIA OUTLETS! 

And third, FUCKING STOP IT!  YOU ARE IGNORANT of ALL ASPECTS OF MENTAL HEALTH, so FUCKING STOP MISREPORTING AND SUGGESTING BULLSHIT when you DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE BLABBERING ON ABOUT because all you want to do is fill your pages and your news reports with horrid news wherein you malign people with labels that are fucking “possibly” true (and equally “possibly” complete fucking BULLSHIT), and give the mainstream audience an explanation that in some supposed-to-be-comforting-to-mainstream-audiences way, says it’s WE vs THEY, and THEY are mentally ill people.

The truth is that the late accused shooter is dead and can’t be properly diagnosed, the family has no clue what the fuck went down, and conspiracy theorists are already saying he wasn’t alone in the room and someone else was probably shooting from the other window that was broken, and eye-witnesses described two people walking calmly down the hall away from his room before the police had control of the room, who may have shot the guy themselves after shooting down at the concert-goers.  The authorities did not find and detain these two for questioning or a gunshot residue test, so THEY DON’T KNOW!

And, as I have already expressed, from my experience and all the genuine hearsay evidence and personal testimonials I have ever evereverever ever seen, bipolar people are not the enemy.  When we’re up, we’re up and we love life and people and have the ability, most of the time, to ignore a great deal of stupidity and bullshit circling in our orbit.  When we’re down, we doubt ourselves, we’re anxious and prone to panic attacks, the bullshit piles up around us until we feel hopelessly and helplessly buried and someone hid the fucking shovel and all we want to do is stay home in bed and be left the fuck alone.  And there’s the rage, sure, but it’s not something I’ve ever heard being used against people except in words (see also… this fucking article), maybe occasional screaming or throwing plates, cell phones, and other relatively harmless and avoidable objects.  And then there’s the hypersexuality, but I don’t hear MY victim bitching about THAT.  For the record, I don’t throw things, except piles of assorted clutter, and I don’t throw them AT PEOPLE.  I’ve never thrown a knife (but I think I’d like to learn and practice that).

Criminals are the enemy if you want to play it like that, and I haven’t heard any plausible reports that mental illness in general, nor bipolar disorder, are undeniably proven as causal of criminal behavior.  “Mentally ill” in any given news report, is bullshit.  It is a pall to put over any given dead criminal, such as a bomber, mass shooter, bank or gas station robber, or whomever the news wants to protect, portraying them as helpless fucking idiot lame-brains who seem to have had no choice but to turn to the dark side and go somewhere to kill people until the police come to shoot back and then scrape their eyes and what’s left of their heart off the walls and their brains and liver off the floor for the autopsy, and hose the blood out of the carpets.  And the fucking mysterious and poorly represented and totally not understood people with bipolar read or hear the reports and we collectively know it’s utter BULLSHIT.  Even at my worst rage I still know I have choices of whether and what to throw and in what direction, and if there were any, the people I might actually want to throw shit at aren’t anywhere close enough for it to serve me any real benefit.

Mrs M (bless her heart) turned on her choice of news channel today, looking for the temperature after sending me to take the dog for a walk, and then I endured the reports of two fires in a neighboring city’s low-rent downtown-ish area (here, if you dare, read “shithole”), with “THOUSANDS OF GALLONS OF WATER FLOODING THE STREETS!!” like it’s the beginning of the end of the fucking world because the firemen PUT OUT THE DAMNED FIRE, and USED WATER TO DO IT!!  That’s the idiotic sensationalism I CAN’T STAND!  I honestly don’t think the fucking weather ever came on before we left the house this morning.

All that and I had already told her it’s not raining, and the temperature is in the mid 40s or low 50s.  FFS.

Oooh, (if we’re to believe it) the Vegas shooter was a germophobe!  I’m fucking terrified, because Howie Mandel is too, and he hasn’t been locked up yet.  And oooh, (if we’re to believe it) he was bipolar too.  Well, if that’s true, then when will the authorities send the fucking rubber truck over, give me one of those NICE fucking robes that let me hug myself because no one else will, and feed me and do all my chores and give me a nice warm bed to sleep in, and don’t hold me responsible for MY actions (or inaction)?  I loved Howie Mandel from back in the day- the adorable “Bobby’s World” cute little fucker, the actually funny, not forced-funny, guy with the rubber glove on his head, before all of this damnable “reality TV” gameshow formatted so-called “talent” shit started overtaking anything that might have actually been a tolerable alternative to the news.

I shut off the damned TV and my son took it over to play his time-wasting video games for a while.  It’s off again, but now on my computer the news feed is shoveling out this shit.  And “normal” “mentally healthy” people are comforted with the “possible” explanation for the alleged criminal’s alleged behavior so they can ignore the conspiracy theorists theories and eye witness accounts of the other things that might have happened.  If the conspiracy theorists are right, the gun control advocates who engineer (YES, I FUCKING SAID IT!), and/or manipulate, reporting of such events have won again, the “normal” people still have their shallow opinions and misconceptions about mental illnesses in general and bipolar in specific, the criminal or criminals in the hallway get away with it again, and live to do it all over again somewhere else, and people with mental illness in general and bipolar in specific, lose yet again, in a battle they didn’t pick to fight, and they’re relegated to the “special-needs” room.  And the news media ass holes get away with reporting bullshit-as-fact AGAIN, give a smarmy smile through their straight, bleached, capped, perfect teeth, and tell us all to “have a nice day.”

I dread Monday morning already, because I know the news will be on (I love you, Mrs. M., but your choice of morning programming is awful!), and we’ll all be served thick, “gravy” covered slices of creamed bullshit on toast, to go with our coffee.  Fuck.  If it’s all the same, can I skip breakfast and just have my damned coffee?

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The information and opinions included in this blog may have been obtained from nearly anywhere: the author’s imagination, imagined or real past, present, or future, mom, dad, family, pastors, teachers, various authorities and trained and self-proclaimed “experts” in their fields, friends, “alternative friends” (he means “enemies,” if he has any), associates, employers past, present and future, wise counselors, average people, and blithering idiots, however, the author, Deon Mumple and/or any subsidiaries or aliases make no legal guarantee nor actual, official assertion of reliability, accuracy or grammatical, political, acrimonious, religious, irreligious or sacrilegious correctness, and assume no responsibility nor liability from any ideas, suggestions, manipulations, information or materials  provided, including the official-sounding, but not actually official, title of this article.  It is the reader’s responsibility to  confirm or prove incorrect any data or source citations, and of course, to act responsibly, in compliance with any applicable local, state or federal regulations. Any information, content, presumed or real intent or opinion, obtained from or via nombredelapluma.wordpress.com or any associated blogs or bloggers, or especially, this author, through any “like” or commentary remark, should not be used as any basis for spiritual advice, legal advice, illegal advice, moral advice, immoral advice, or other advice, but should be confirmed, properly authenticated, or legally assessed, through actually reliable, alternative sources.  Any comments or articles, past, present, or future, though possibly interpretable as flirtatious, should be understood as intended only to be complimentary, flirtatious-without-actual-intent, encouraging, and loving in nature.  Though the author may express appreciation for an individual’s appearance or the appearances of a group, no harassment is intended or should be implied, nor may the reader or subject presume intent, personal reference, implication or actual harassment.  (While the author admires, appreciates and loves all women as individual works of art, both in internal and external appearance and presentation, the reader shall be aware of Mrs. M’s full, sole, and complete rights to all cash, properties, and physical and mental devices possessed by Deon Mumple.)  It is presumed that personal deportment, comportment and presentation is under the personal responsibility and accountability of the individual or individuals presenting themselves, and this author shall write whatever opinion or nonsense which finds its’ way out of the derangement, hereafter referred to as “his thoughts,” and into this or other’s blog or blogs, presuming the rights of freedom of speech and expression implied, imbued or conferred by local, state and federal laws, including the Constitution of the United States of America, and its’ amendments.  Any articles or comments of a harsh nature are solely intended to vent the frustrations of the author, and while they may have been inspired by actual individuals, imaginary individuals, actual events or distortions of actual events, the author assumes no defamatory liability for reporting upon said events or individuals, who shall be referred to legally as “characters.”  And should any “characters” believed to be represented in this blog or blogger’s comments feel offended, it is presumed that said characters may freely close the web-page through their browser window option, or surf on to another site.  Though the author may express personal opinions, the words and opinions expressed in this blog may or may not represent the actual, official opinions of the author.  Individuals and/or groups may not presume any personal or corporate defamation or actual insult regarding belonging to, or not belonging, in fact or in fancy, to an ethnicity, a nation, a race, a religion, an actual, chosen, imagined, presumed, or invented gender or sexual orientation, or because they have a handicap. (This author, in this author’s opinion, would be an even worse blogger or commentator, not to mention, suck as a human being, if, as a handicapped person, this author belittled another handicapped person.  He may be evil, but he’s not THAT evil.)    Though the author may express dislike for specific actions, or an alternate opinion regarding life choices, it is the reader’s responsibility to assume any liabilities from following or ignoring any advice or opinions contained herein or in any article or comment, past, present, or future.   The reader further shall be fully responsible for any personal acts, comments, feelings and opinions construed as caused by said readership.  Any criminal actions against the author, including, but not limited to, threats, intimidations, stalkings or murders, or actions adversely affecting the author’s personal property or family members, will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

“There is no fear in love.”

“When I was a kid, I spoke like a kid, I comprehended like a kid, I thought like a kid.  But when I grew up, I learned to think like a grown up, and had to set aside my childish thinking and actions.”  (I Corinthians 13:11)

I’ve been digesting the news, as slowly as possible despite the fully-open fire hose of information the media wants to feed us.  Honestly, it makes me sick.  My initial reaction to our national situation was frustration.  I’m frustrated because I think I can’t do anything to help anyone.  I am not a behavioral scientist but I know a thing or two about feeling helpless, just from my personal experience.  Yep.  I’ve analyzed it.  The feelings of helplessness give way to something else, and it goes any of three directions for me.   Sometimes I have to work through all of these.  I should have just listed the 4 feelings, but normally I start at a rage baseline or a hopelessness baseline and hope I’ll eventually get to peace.  Maybe you’re wired the same way.

1) Fear
2) Rage
3) Peace

I’ve been anticipating the new civil war since I was in college, back in the 80s.  Seriously. And I should have anticipated it when I was in High School and became aware of race in America.  Kudos to mum and dad, because until I was 13 I had no idea people thought the way they did about race.  All I knew was people are people, and we needed to be friends with everyone because deep down we’re all the same.  I used to read my Bible more when I was a kid, and if all the verses about how we’re supposed to “love one another” didn’t give me insight, then one other reference reinforced and nailed home the message that we’re supposed to get along.  Revelation 5 says that in heaven they will sing a song to Jesus:

“You are worthy to take the scroll,
And to open its seals;
For You were slain,
And have redeemed us to God by Your blood
Out of every tribe and tongue and people and nation…”

I get, as an adult, that not everyone believes the stuff in my Bible, much less agrees.  We can’t even agree as Christ-followers on interpretations, so I can imagine how many different perspectives there are among people who aren’t Christ-followers.  But if I’m right, and even if I’m not right, we have to share the planet so I think we should try to get along with each other.  I still believe from my childhood that people are different, superficially, but deep down we’re the same and we should be friends and help each other since everyone has their share (and some have more than their share) of struggles.  That concept is reinforced too, in the Bible.  Matthew 5:

⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. ⁴⁶ For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?

I’ve got a friend who bothers to go on Fakebook, and he told me he posted this text as a status update.  The saying goes, “Great minds think alike…  So do crazy ones.”  And so, I’m not saying which of us is great and which of us is crazy, but in processing the crappy news, I’ve been thinking about the same text, among others.

Day before yesterday I was still feeling pretty raged up.  I’m not at peace yet.  It’s a lot to take in, on primal, emotional, and spiritual levels.  We have the strong potential for a new civil war on our hands, and the events in Charlottesville, VA show just the tiniest edge of the darkness peeking out.  The hatred is there, the fear is there, and people barely hide it under a veneer of practiced civility.  One of my fellow bloggers tells stories about various dystopian futures or civilizations, but I think I’m living in one right now.  I don’t like it, but I feel powerless to fix it by myself.  And I don’t think anyone would disagree, that America is broken and divided, along so many lines, and at so many different levels.  The world is broken and divided, even though we call ourselves civilized, progressive, modern, or whatever.

I didn’t want to comment on this unless I had something constructive to offer.  Some resort to fear or apathy, some resort to activism whether peaceful or violent, and I’ve heard the commentary from both sides.  What I’m hearing is this:  Everybody wants to think they are, or they are part of a group that is, somehow more special than some other group.  They want exclusivity, and they want to be able to exert power over someone else, or some other group.  And everybody is afraid of either their own sense of powerlessness, or afraid the other group is, or might become, more powerful, and take their sense of power away.   And some people call it “power,” and some call it “privilege.”  I want to use a different label.  At the risk of exposing the social trend, and the weakness of the label when pointing fingers and accusing (another way to try to exert undue leverage over the other social group), I’m going to call it “entitlement.”  Both sides of the combatives are expressing their fear as anger.  I think the history of our country gives justification to the fear on both sides.  But not the criminal violence.

Privilege is either a myth or something I haven’t been able to tap into.  Power is also a myth or something I haven’t been able to tap into.  All I can seem to do is be a servant.  It’s not a terrible arrangement all of the time.  I help people, they either like it or like it and take me for granted, or they pretend not to like how I did it and complain about how I should have done it.  I think the country, and the world, would be a far better place if everyone looked for ways to help and serve others instead of all of the me-first attitudes. And if I may confess any open hatred, it’s of people’s senses of self-entitlement, or group entitlement.

I don’t believe in self-entitlement.  Self entitlement shows up in the very existence of exclusive groups, whether they’re labelled correctly as “hate groups,” or whether they’re labelled incorrectly as anything else.  Self entitlement shows up in individuals who commit crimes whether they are in positions of authority or desperation.  All criminals should be fairly tried and repay their debts to society.  That includes the business tycoons and bankers who willfully cheated (and continue to cheat) ordinary people out of their savings and investments.  That includes any cop who shoots anyone in the back with anything other than a taser, or any cop who shoots wildly not understanding whether his target is an unarmed innocent or a criminal.  That includes anyone who steals or vandalizes property that doesn’t belong to them.  That includes anyone who terrorizes or willfully and intentionally injures another person.  Driving a car at a high rate of speed into a person or a crowd of people, unless you’re having a seizure or some other legitimate, medically verifiable cause for lack of control, is willful and intentional.  If there’s room for error on that point, I would say that if someone is blocking an intersection or public street deliberately, they should move or get arrested.  There are some who believe, having asked them to move out of the way, if they refuse and the driver gently leans on the horn, they can allow their car to gently roll forward.  In the absence of law enforcement and when I have to get somewhere on time, I respect your right to protest, call that your civil liberty, but I would appreciate it if my right of way, call that my civil liberty, would be equally respected.  The other option is to either take a different route if there is one, or call 911 and wait for the authorities to arrive and disperse the crowd for you, which will obviously take a lot longer.

These are broad brush strokes, but you know self entitlement and if you have more patience than I do, you probably just accept the misbehaviors.  Self entitled people act out individually in lesser ways:  The guy who cuts you off in traffic, the lady at the supermarket who takes the parking space you waited for, the boss who pays himself a hundred or more times what he pays his lowest-paid employee.  The vandal who destroys something culturally significant that belongs to everyone as students of history or art; the one who puts graffiti that isn’t art on property that doesn’t belong to them, or the one who smashes windows in someone else’s home, or a store, because they’re bored, or street lights because it’s easier to get away with other crimes in the dark.

I believe in the opposite of self-entitlement.  I believe, if we steal or kill or destroy, we’re showing one kind of spiritual origin (see also John 10:10, John 8:41-47), and if we demonstrate the opposite of the above traits that are from self-entitlement, we show the other kind of spiritual heritage.

One (of probably several) news guys gave a TV editorial in which he condemned the violence, called the white supremacists “idiots” and their cause “a joke,” (though, IMHO, if it’s a joke it’s in very poor taste), and wondered out loud that if the news media allowed them to have their little protest and ignored them, and the fearful opposition stayed home and ignored them, it might become a non-issue.  If he’s right, the facts that they’re getting news print and TV and social media face time and that people bothered to come out and counter protest makes a big thing out of something that should be laughed at publicly, and shut down firmly and resoundingly in courthouses whenever anyone escalates to criminal behavior.

I wish we could look to South Africa for an example.  They’ve had their history, and it was bad, and now the laws have been changed and Apartheid was never socially acceptable, and now it is no longer legally acceptable for citizens of South Africa.  There’s fear, on both sides, but they’re in a slow recovery, learning humans are humans regardless of race, and some are even building friendships.  But here we are in the United States, on the brink of a civil war based solely on racism, sitting on a powder keg of mutual and opposing fears based on lies, and an intertwined fuse of mutual disrespect based on selfishness.  I think the vast majority of us don’t want any part in that war.  The President may not have a gift for soothing speech, and he may very well be providing some of the lighter fluid.  I’ve never thought of him as a political or social genius.  But he’s not the flint or the steel needed for the spark.  Friction requires continual motion, one side against the other, one gang hits another and the other gang feels obligated to strike back, and so on, until the big “rumble.”

The idiot who ran over Heather Heyer and murdered her in cold blood is indefensible.  I’ll say it in plain terms:  He is a murderer and an idiot.  He shall be as nameless to me as he is worthless, a footnote lost in history.  I hope that Heather Heyer gets whatever justice her survivors need.  Not whatever her fellow counter-protesters want.  What seems fair to me would be to put him to work, and allow him to support at least her parents, in comfort, although with their words, they probably don’t want it.  He should write a weekly card to them.  And after they are comfortably provided for, maybe the rest of the money can provide for his mother, and then if there’s any left, a small percentage to meet his basic needs.  TP, food, clothing, water, a cot and a six by six cell.  And every day, added to his ordinary labor, he should have to clean a wall on which has been ink stamped, by a robot, “You killed Heather Heyer.”  And if he doesn’t work hard enough, there won’t be any money left for him to buy food, so he can go without.

This said, the group of passive-aggressives would like to think that an angry aggressive movement will die out if it’s ignored by the media.  But as much as I want that to be true, I don’t think it is.  As long as there is an evil one, and his minions, there will be children of the evil one.  If Jesus said there is an evil one, there is an evil one.  The writer of I John said that Cain in Genesis who killed his brother was a child of the evil one.  If true, he’s been around influencing people to do evil things since the beginning.  And, if true, the passives who argue it’ll go away are wrong:  The angry aggressives will just escalate their behavior until they get attention.  I wonder what Cain had in his heart, and in his attitude, and in his behavior, before he became a murderer.  We already know what’s in the hearts of the self-entitled.  If we ignore them and treat them like children, they’ll have a tantrum and kill someone.  There has to be a point at which their destructive behavior must be stopped, their ignorance must be met with education.

I am the LAST person who wants to get involved in a fight, but I’ll speak.  My flesh, my humanity, wants criminals to face angry justice and receive fair punishment, and for people to be decent with each other.  I watched the commentary, where the guy got maced for getting in people’s faces and yelling his opinion.  Hurt me, corner me, and see what comes your way.  I get it; it’s a natural, human response.  But my spirit asks a different set of questions.  I don’t really want to “overcome.”  I don’t need to “win.”  I need everyone to be treated fairly and respectfully, and I want to help in a way that helps everyone win, not just “my” team, and I want everyone to treat me the same way, and help me the same way.

I don’t wonder what the hate groups would do if counter-protesters never assembled to have a shouting and shoving match, separated by a thin blue line, or thinking they’re safe while standing on a public roadway that’s only barely blockaded off for their assembly.  I don’t wonder what would happen if the news media failed to cover the event.

No.  I wonder something much more revolutionary.

I wonder what would happen if angry hateful protesters were met with smiling, loving people who didn’t shout angry hateful slogans back at the protesters’ angry hateful slogans.  What would happen if the smiling loving people brought cookies and cakes and drinks to give away?  What would happen if the smiling loving people asked the angry protesters, “Would it be OK if I prayed for you, right here and now?  How can I pray for you?  Is there anything special you need, or any trial of life you’re going through that I can pray about?  Or should I just ask for God to bless you and show you His love?”

What would happen if the protesters were met with people, praying boldly, lovingly, and kindly FOR their “enemies” to be blessed by God?  Just kneel right there in the grass before God, or stand, reach a hand out onto a cold shoulder, and pray hard, and mean it?

I think THAT is what Matthew 5:43-46 is speaking, in our country’s potentially dire situation:  It’s hard to hate someone who obviously, truly loves you.  It’s even harder to hate someone who’s praying for you, and it may be impossible to hate someone who comes to your angry, bitter rally and brings brownies, cookies, cakes and snacks, hot coffee with optional cream and sugar, ice cold water, and old-fashioned southern style ice cold sweet tea.   You’ve gotta have sweet tea.

It may sound stupid to some, but I don’t think so.

Love is more powerful than anything.

To Give, or Not to Give (a Fuck)

There are days when I care, days when I’d like to think I don’t care, and days, like today, when I wish I could stop caring.  I don’t want to give a fuck about anyone or anything, but instead,

I care too much about stupid politicians and politics.  I care too much that idiots are the faces of the politics of the World, of the United States, and of the individual states of the United States.  If idiots weren’t in charge, I firmly believe that basic, needed things would be affordable to anyone who works a full time job, or anyone who is retired and has paid into Social Security, or anyone retired or disabled from our military service, or anyone legitimately disabled and unable to work.  We, and our children, need basic things:  food, clothing, shelter.  We need medical, dental, and optical care, and medicine.  If selfish idiots weren’t in charge, taxes would pay for services the government is needed for, and infrastructure maintenance, and we wouldn’t need special extra gas taxes, cigarette taxes, liquor taxes, and toll roads.  A flat tax paid for consumption or use would be fine, but that should eliminate income tax.  Instead, we pay twice for what we should pay once, and someone or some ones in the middle of it are raking in the bucks.

I mentioned yesterday that I’m paying about five times what I borrowed for the house, instead of just paying it back with a reasonable interest rate.  And thank God I know about loan types, or we might have gone with an adjustable rate mortgage (A.R.M.- that’s what it costs when the rates are “adjusted.”), or worse, a loan with a balloon payment at the end.  It’s bad enough the part of the monthly payment that goes toward reducing the principle is less than 20% of the total payment demanded.  My trouble (first world fucking problems!) is that an assessor went through our crap neighborhood last year and decided my house is worth more than I’m paying (translation, tax assessors and other middle-men can get more money out of me), so they raised the taxes on my house to match the value they say it’s now worth.  Except I signed an agreement to pay a specified amount for 30 years and now the government and the bank and the tax assessors are in collusion with one another, dicking around with it and saying now I have to pay more than I agreed to pay when we signed the papers, FUCKERS!

If I get a raise, the damned government figures out a way to suck that away before I get to touch it.  Raise taxes, reduce benefits, arbitrarily design a “fuck-you, taxpayer” fee I didn’t know I had to pay.  Meanwhile certain people who know how to work the system eat better food than I can afford from my job’s wages, and if I make literally a single $1 too much over a six month period, they are going to pull what benefits I DO benefit from out from under me and make me pay full market price for them (insurance), even though that $1 more doesn’t do shit to relieve the burdens that make me grovel and beg for that assistance, because now my house is allegedly worth more.  It’s only worth more if I try to sell it, but since I’m still paying for it, it seems to me that it’s worth the same as what it was worth when I started paying for it.  The insurance company and the bank and the government want me homeless and helpless and bankrupt, or (actually, “and,”) they don’t want to help.  Why the fuck is that?

Buy a tire and you pay for tires, then mounting and balancing, then valve stems, then tire disposal, then alignment, and then, if you’re wise, for a protection plan because roads have potholes and nails and screws and abandoned disintegrated tire “gators,” and other shit left by litterers and road construction crews and whoever else, not to mention the local fauna.  Valve stems, really?  Like, if you bought a tire it wouldn’t come with fucking valve stems from how they’re manufactured.  Disposal, really?  Like if I don’t want to take the old tire home with me and throw it in my own trash, I have to pay an extra fee for the tire shop to have a guy throw it in the dumpster out back.  I get the other fees, someone has to do mounting, balancing and alignment so the tires will work, and so they’ll last.  But there should be a better way to structure that or to bill for that.

A home loan payment shouldn’t be five-plus times the amount of the principle of the loan.  That tells me several ass holes are lining their pockets with way too damn much (go ahead, insert meme) of my money and probably a few million other wishful would-be homeowners’ money.  Buying feels right though, to finally own something rather than being a renter forever and never having any kind of personal security, or building equity.  If you rent, I’m fine with it and I don’t think any less of you.  I know good reasons to rent, not the least of which is if you don’t own it you shouldn’t have to shell out cash to fix it under conditions of normal use.  Like renting a car, if you just drive it a few days you should only have to put gas in it, not pay to change the oil and pay to rotate and balance new tires for it.

I want a King Solomon for President.  Someone who is wise enough to design systems that actually work, that help people, and who is politically savvy enough to not put us on the brink of World War III every time he opens his mouth, and to not try to just hand over the keys of the country to other countries every time she opens her mouth.  I want a King Solomon for state governor, who will help people beyond basic needs.  We need employment from employers who will pay a fair and decent living wage, and reward loyalty by paying higher-than-entry-fucking-level wages to people who stay with a company.  The governor should hire reputable companies to build and maintain the infrastructure of his state, and oversee the other important concerns of his or her constituency.  The governor, or his trusted appointees, should be able to step in when a constituent is being treated unfairly.

I want a King Solomon for an employer, who trains and promotes and pays higher wages to those from within, rather than hiring from the outside and paying them the same as what I earn after 10 years and calling that an entry level wage.  When I found out that basically unless I made a lot of noise about it they were happy to keep me under  everyone’s thumbs, if I were prone to uncontrollable rage, instead of festering, I’d have driven down to corporate with guns, killed a few select people and gotten myself either killed, or earned 3 square meals and a bed, workout facilities, a legal library to study and earn a law degree, and total dependence on the government and my cellmates.

I care too much about my family.  If I were a selfish ass hole of a man, I could have earned a divorce years ago, instead of 25 years of marriage.  I could tell the courts I’m helpless, find a “sugar momma” to bed, and live off of her excesses and indulgences and leave my ex wife and kids to sink or swim on their own and not pay any child support.  Instead I’m home helping with housework and home repair and improvements if I can afford them and school homework and gas money and car maintenance if I know how to do it myself (MUCH cheaper) and working my ass off and praying for college scholarships because I don’t want to work until I’m 150 years old to pay off the debt and usury, adding the extra penalties and fees for not dying soon enough.  Because the working poor are supposed to work two and three and more jobs just to survive, and die of heart attacks when they turn 42.  I’ve outlived that shit, thankfully, at least so far.  But caring is stressful.

I care too much about my neighborhood and local things.  Instead of hearing about the latest murder victims, kidnapping victims, rape victims, robbery victims, I want the news to lead with the story they try to close with on a slow day.  And I want more news stories like that every day.  I want my neighborhood and my city to be shown what can happen when visionary people who aren’t completely heartless ass holes decide to keep trying.  But instead I get the other shit, for 28 minutes every morning if I only watch for 30, and then 2 minutes of a veteran who gets to be in a parade and go for a short ride in a nice fancy car because he’s 90-something and someone wanted to do something nice for him before he died.

I want people to be celebrated and be on the news for doing the nice things.  Why the fuck do we have 28 out of 30 minutes on the weather, the traffic, the mayhem, and only 2 for the people doing something nice?  I can understand 13 on weather and traffic.  But do the other 15 have to be wasted on how horrible some people are?  Flip that shit and do the opposite.  If it’s in the interest of public safety, fine, tell us to lock up our daughters and wives, or tell us the infrastructure is crumbling and we need a new bridge built over the overpass so there will be diverted traffic, fine, report that.  But otherwise,

Why can’t we hear about Girl Scout Gold Award winners, Boy Scout Eagle Scout Award Winners, and their service projects?  Why don’t we hear about foundations making grants and setting up programs to help retirees make it on their fixed social security and medicare, or churches feeding the hungry and sheltering the homeless, and sending out a small army of people to help seniors and disabled citizens with their house- and yard- work and gutters, washed dishes and laundry, vacuuming, companionship, trips to the local community center or to a nice restaurant for a meal?

Why can’t we hear about the people who got the full-ride scholarship to a local college (, and can those recipient be my daughter and son when they graduate)? Why can’t we hear about how Mrs Mumple has managed to not murder or kick Mr. M to the curb, through 25 years and two children?  Why can’t we hear about the mystery generous guy (or lady, I’m not going to give it back because of a gender issue) who just out of the blue decided to hand Deon Mumple a check for a few million dollars with enough extra to pay the tax on that?  That hasn’t happened yet, I’m just putting it out there for that person, whomever they are, so they know there’s room over here for their anonymous donation.
I’m quite certain there’s at least 13 minutes of those kinds of stories that could be told, every day, instead of all the guns and evil.  Maybe if we celebrated the good, instead, there would be more of that, and less of the shit we glorify on TV EVERY fucking day.  Kids looking for role models won’t find them on TV or in the news or media.  All they’ll find are idiots, idiot politicians, cheap-ass business tycoons, and criminals, including murderers and robbers and rapists and vandals and other thugs, not that those genres are never cross-populated.  And the worst thing about putting those role-models on the television and media is, that THE AIMLESS KIDS ARE FOLLOWING THEIR LEAD.

The way it’s run right now I wish I could just not give a fuck.  But alas, I do in fact care, and try to do small things to make it better.  I volunteer a little time out of my life whenever I can, or whenever I can figure out how to schedule it even though I don’t think I can, because I can make a tiny difference by showing up to sweat for someone who needs help.  Because I care, I wish other people gave a fuck too, instead of the standard issue what’s-in-it-for-me and how-can-I-profit-and-screw-the-other-person’s-welfare that I see in the world, in American politics, and in modern corporate America.  I either need enough money so I don’t have to care and then I need to learn the lessons from the above assholes, OR, I need a LOT more people to start giving a fuck about someone other than themselves.

I understand.  We’re all under the same shitty management.  The old managerial ass holes were all taught the same thing, doesn’t matter which hoity-toity school their dads bought their business or law degrees from.  Which means, nobody reading this has shit, unless a bored billionaire is looking for people to condescend to.  I’m willing, in exchange for a few million dollars, to be treated with condescension.  Go ahead.  But if you’re not a bored billionaire looking for a charity case you might only have a few bucks extra here and there.  That’s most of the readers out there that I know about.  I know you need your not-coffee, but how about buying one less cup of not-coffee from Starbucks, and giving that money to a cause I care way too much about.  Click here:

https://www.gofundme.com/single-mom-being-bugged

Please.  Really.  She and her daughter ARE a worthy cause.  I may care too much, but until her tiny goal is far surpassed, I feel that not enough support is being shown to these two deserving young ladies.  What the hell, if you ARE a bored billionaire, how about giving a few million to Ms. N., instead of me.  I’ll be fine, probably.  Or, we’re both willing to accept donations if you’ve got it like that.  But we both need enough for it to be an actual blessing, not just enough to cut their benefits off, or cut my kids’ health insurance benefits off at the knees and make me work 3 jobs to pay the extra costs.  If you’re gonna give and you can give big, give big, and may God bless you back for being a blessing from your abundance.  If you’re gonna give and you can only afford little, give and may my God bless you back for being a blessing out of your own need.

I Don’t Believe Anyone w/o a Tinfoil Hat

“The truth is out there,” reads a once-famous poster with a UFO photo on it.

Yeah, there you go.

We have the very popular “scientist” and entertainer Bill Nye “saving the world.”  He’s preaching that global warming is the end of the world (as we know it) and the seas will rise and destroy everything in their paths, and then we have the founder of the fucking weather channel, an *actual* scientist for fucks sake, calling global warming a money-grabbing hoax.  John Coleman wrote an article cited here.  Go on, all you hotties who believe in it, click that shit.  For the nay-sayers who want to debunk Mr. Coleman, he’s spent most of his life studying meteorology and actual historical scientific data and I think he knows what he’s talking about, but he’s being derided as a tinfoil-hat wearer because he wants to expose that the big money is driving the scientists to support the bunkum, so they’ll get paid.  And if you have a patron who’ll let you do actual scientific research, or enough independent wealth, the big money will not come your way because actual science and historical data does not support it.

Mr Coleman says that there have been documented times in the earth’s history which had warm trends, and this did not cause the world any damage.  He also said there have been times in the earths history when there was more CO2 in the atmosphere than there is even now, and the earth somehow went on oblivious to the obvious danger.  But yeah, the global warming scientists are right because of scientific data.  That’s right, but it’s data that some say has been dicked around with.  Go on, I’ll wait right here while you read it.

Crazy, tnfoil-hat wearing conspiracy theorists, my fat ass.  It used to be a lot fatter but then global warming and food science bullshit engineering future famine caused me to lose some weight.  Oh, you haven’t read about genetically modified food yet?  Where have you been?  I suspect that genetically modifying things, especially food, is a bad idea.  We’ve had the way they are, actually improved by careful selective breeding by smart farmers, for a long time, and before that, we had the willy-nilly self-propagating that worked pretty good on its’ own, that the human race originally lived on.  But what the hell, let’s dick around with the whole world’s FOOD SUPPLY, for fucks sake!!!  Because food scientists know what they’re doing.  I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should, make ketchup that glows in the dark, for example.  For similar reasons as, just because processing your nuts is more efficient the new way doesn’t mean it won’t cause an increase in people having problems with allergies to your nuts.  The rise in allergies to gluten and peanuts, and the rise in autism and other maladies, have their root cause somewhere.  I’d like a genuine statistic of how much more depression and bipolar we have, along with other broadly categorized “mental illnesses,” since all the food processing and automation and chemistry and insecticides and hormone treatments and other experimentation started.  But the explanation may never come because the truth is awkward, or it can’t be undone.  (Food guy:  Oh, shit, everyone’s going to die because they can’t eat anything without dying from it!  Oh well, this method is so cost effective, a few deaths won’t matter.  Survival of the fittest means they’ll either adapt or die, so let’s do it anyway!)

Then after the news reports the normal mayhem and wanton destruction the grim viewers want to hear because it makes their shitty lives seem just a little bit better by comparison, they turn to the weatherperson who supports global warming because s/he wants to get a paycheck at the end of the week, and then to the political realms, where liars spend weeks or years fabricating even bigger lies to cover up the shit they’ve been doing, and pointing their bony fingers at someone else who they say has done something somehow worse than what they’ve done, so they can hide until they can comfortably retire after they get a kickback helping some big business person(s) steal our retirements out from under us and tell us schmucks that our investment portfolios went south so we have to keep working for the slave-masters and trying not to incur too much medical debt and paying off our kids’ college debt until we’re dead.  Because not everyone has the {Insert-Baby-Food-Company-Here,-you-know-the-one} life plan.

Yeah I’m sick to death of the non-stop diet of bullshit.  It never changes.  In 1986 we had Oliver North on trial for following orders, everybody pointed fingers at everyone else, and in the end there wasn’t a good resolution, and we still propagated arms to God-knows-where, and have forgotten about them, haven’t we?  Yeah, but that’ll come back to bite us on the ass.  And in 2016 we had the newest, scandal-to-end-all-scandals now under investigation, with the new Oliver North, James Comey, versus the new Ronald Reagan, Donald Trump.  I swear, someone is getting paid big bucks for this circus, just like back in ’86.  Both presidents were entertainers before they went to the presidency.  I liked Ronald to a point, and honestly I believe Donald is no Ronald, but I’m waiting for his version of “Well, I don’t remember” to come out.

Make ’em laugh, spin it, or lie through your teeth in an entertaining way, and then meet with the comedians and show up on their shows to improve your popularity, ratings, and they’ll believe you.  Fucking idiots think this shit is important and they waste our time broadcasting, and their time listening to a web of lies, and they’re not even very artfully spun, to cover up other lies.  The biggest stupidity is that Americans find the bullshit entertaining .  I don’t.   A lot of people are blinded by the show and distracted by things that don’t matter.  If you’re one of those, I could tell you the truth, but the truth would be too awkward.  And some people still believe

“So is the news.”~R.U.Gullible

You want to know what really scares me?  Well, nothing, but you know I always have the gears turning and they often take me back to something I once read, after twisting the meaning?  Yeah, my brain is (80s flashback) totally taking me back to 2 Thessalonians (no, not “two Corinthians,” Donald.), 2:1-11.  And I had to ask myself, if you read the text, which “delusion,” which “lie,” and which “lawless one?!”  There are so many, and they all seem to get their faces on the news.  But the ones telling you the truth don’t even get paid enough, or possibly not at all, for doing it.

Sure, I’m …probably… one of those wild-eyed conspiracy theorists.  But only because I don’t trust anyone on the TV- not the news, not the “scientists,” not the politicians, not the “authorities” we’ve collectively trusted to tell us the truth and protect us from danger.  Instead they cover up the danger and protect us from the truth.  When you can’t trust even scientists, for fucks sake (and whoever trusted a politician is an fool who’s been drinking the toxic koo(-coo)-laid too long), and you can’t trust the famous preachers because they’re all scandalized, or paid off, or both, and I’m not going to say who’s paying them off but if they’re teaching lies as if they were truth, and preaching that evil is good, oh I don’t know,

I didn’t just pull the fake-message preachers out of my tin-foil hat.  They’ve been around since the beginning:

Genesis 2:

¹⁶ And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; ¹⁷ but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”

¹⁸ The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Without fanfare or explanation for how she got the message, see, though, the slight  misquote of God’s original instructions/information:

Genesis 3
² The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, ³ but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

Who told her not to touch it?

That’s proof  right there, you HAVE to read it for yourself because as soon as you don’t, your PREACHER will lie to you.  The message-twisting was being done in the Old Testament history of the Bible,

Isaiah 5
²⁰ Woe to those who call evil good
    and good evil,
who put darkness for light
    and light for darkness,
who put bitter for sweet
    and sweet for bitter.

and it’s still being done when we get to the New Testament, (see Matthew 23)
and it’s still being done in the modern era just as promised, or if you’ll allow, prophesied (see Matthew 7)

There are those that you’ll either laugh (or cry) about in empathy:  The contractor is lying to you when he says he can fix that shit and hours or days later it’s still not fucking working, it’s broken worse than before, and he’s charging you by the hour.  The mechanic is lying to you when he says it took him that long too, plus everybody gets a percentage markup on parts they paid a fuck of a lot less for, and he charges you for putting the broken parts in the fucking trash can, or for selling them to be chopped and recycled.  “Disposal Fee,” watch for it.

I saw a statistic somewhere on the internet that said 26.3967% of all statistics found on the internet were completely fabricated.  Because, sorry to burst your trust-bubble,

Everybody(, and by that I mean almost everybody, but hyperbole, folks), is lying to you.

Not even me.  I write bullshit.  I’d like to think it’s thoughtful bullshit, but still…  And I’m Deon Mumple.  Or am I?

~Deon

Ignoring the News

So, I just sent my daughter bowling.  We’re visiting in-laws in a northern suburb of Chicago.  And so it was after taking care of some of the “wifely duties” around THIS house, people kind of are going their way – Mrs M is showering, and our hosts are doing their things, ignoring one another.  Our hosts are Mrs M’s sister and husband.  Their kids are off bowling with my dear daughter in Chicago.  Chicago.

As it happens they left the TV and the stereo playing.  I’m mixing “nana, nanana nana nana (we are young, so let’s set the world on fire)” with the TV news everyone is ignoring.  With good reason IMHO.  Sweet baby Jesus, where the fuck did I just send my daughter?!  On the TV, they just reported 61 shot, and IDK, fucking 10 or 12 dead, in old west style shootouts over the holidays in CHICAGO ILLINOIS.  And there’s still idiots on the news advocating for stricter gun control.  FUCKING IDIOTS, GUN CONTROL ONLY CONTROLS the LAW-ABIDING!!!  Oh, and in a population of approximately 2,720,546, there were ONLY 756 killed by gun violence this year, up from about 468 last year.  “about,” because some of the gun deaths might still be classified as accidental.  But seriously?

I sent my daughter out there.  She’s 16, and all I want to do is keep her safe and cook and clean for her.  My baby girl.  My son stayed home to help with the dog and play video games with one of his cousins.  Oh, all right.  To play video games with his cousin.  What am I, in denial?  All I can do is pray for her, and otherwise I’m helpless.

The damned grim-reaper statisticians say that’s “only” 0.03% of the overall population so the odds are in favor of survival.  Yeah, but that isn’t the statisticians’ baby.

I’m going to go pray, and wait for her to get back.  I hope she has fun and doesn’t even think about this kind of shit, ever ever.

And then, there was fighting in the malls, what the hell?  THAT is nothing less than domestic terrorism.  That happened in Chicago, Indianapolis, Texas, Tennessee, New Jersey…  This was organized somehow, but which social network was it? Or was it just a coincidental series of idiots?  I just don’t think so, not all at the same time.  Some asshole organizer needs to be arrested and put in stocks in the mall, and the police can fund-raise for charity selling tomatoes, various other squishy, preferably rotten, produce, and rotten eggs IN THE SHELLS.

Why in the shells?  Because like the great Mr Rickman once said in a movie he made great,”it’ll hurt more.”  And who will buy the most missiles?  Those fucking brats that attended the fight.  After the public pillory, just send him to jail and let it be known he encouraged kids to abuse other kids.  See what happens.

People are fucking idiots.  And I wish they weren’t.

Shootings?  Fighting?  The shooters don’t need coddling, nor do these shitheads at the mall.  They need a good swift kick in the ass, and some jail time.  Oh, not the shooters.  The mall fighters need to be handcuffed to their parents, and the shooters need to be sent to hell.  Except the witnesses that might have survived were law-abiding, disarmed victims, unable to defend themselves, and by the time the cops get there, all they can do is clean up the blood and cart off the meat to be incinerated.  But if the citizens were armed, there would be a lot less of this shit going on.  It would also be better if these kinds of events NEVER made it to the news, because fame, or infamy, breeds copycat bored shitheads.

Malls are not a place for your damned bored kids to drive themselves and hang out, unless they’re peaceful.  But your kids are either driving themselves or being left there while the parents are off taking a momentary break from teenage I’m bored bullshit.  Fucking idiots.  Your shitty kids need to wash your dishes and wash all the household laundry, dry it and fold it and put it the fuck away, and then study for their SATs and college admission boards.  They need to clean the bathrooms and take out the trash, and then they need to volunteer at a senior center or boys and girls club.  Or they need a job so they can learn how hard it is to earn enough to live.

Your kids better not kill my kids, or you and your kids can all go to hell.  And given the chance, if that happened, I’d be delighted to send them there while you watch, and then send you to join them.  I’m the guy who says he hopes everyone figures it out and grows a little faith in God and love like Jesus taught, but I have my limitations and I know them.  Don’t ever injure or maim or kill one of my kids, or shit’s going down.  Your shit.  I’ll hide the bodies and evidence.

Thank you, Dexter.  I don’t WANT to be a mass murderer, but if I ever need to handle just one or two, I know how to handle it.  They may catch me eventually, but I think I can delay them for a long time.

My poor daughter is so naive, we disagree on the topic of gun control.  She hates that I think everyone should have guns and learn how to use them.

She may be a naive teenager, but she’s not tramping around or hanging out unsupervised at the mall.  She’s bowling with her cousins and her uncle. Bored kids need something to do with their idle time, or we’ll just see more and more erosion of civilization perpetrated by kids who have too much money and free time on their hands.

My daughter did some volunteer work over the holiday season, and so did my son.  I may not like all of their idle time, any time they complain about boredom, but I admire their willingness to be a contributing part of making the world a better place.  I think if everyone focused on those kinds of pursuits, there might eventually be teen boredom, but I’d love to see how fucking long that shit would take to come to the surface.  My bet is it would take a very long time before the world ran out of poverty, hunger, starvation, sickness, etc.  I am sure if you look around, there is a service organization where you and or your children can serve, contribute, care, improve things.  Or they can start one, pick a pet project and run with it.  I did an internet search for just “service project,” and there were 57,700,000 results.  That’s 21 for every single damned citizen of Chicago.  More if you limit it to those who aren’t bored enough to go around shooting at people or start fighting in the fucking shopping malls.

Please show your kids how honorable that kind of behavior is- random, or planned, acts of kindness, are awesome.  That makes a parent, and a community, proud of their kids.  This other behaviour, random or planned, is just shit.  It’s worse when it’s planned misbehaviour.  And behaving like shit makes people who are only worth flushing.  When you clean that bathroom, bored teen, don’t forget the fucking bleach, toilet bowl cleaner, scrubbing bubbles…  whatever cleaner you need, I’ll provide it.  Mop the floors after you wash the mirrors, clean the sink and scrub the toilet.  Inside and out.  And hear some wisdom:  If you act like a little shit, don’t be surprised when society wants to flush your ass.

The Symbolic Nature of Breakfast

Holy crap, I’ve missed you.  Sometimes, there’s just a little bit too much life and a little too little control.  And in advance, I’m sorry, it’s the best I’ve got.  I could be writing about how on the show Criminal Minds, I was watching an episode where flight 420 crash landed in Colorado.  It’s on Netflix  That made me laugh. Flying from Pittsburgh to Phoenix.  It’s brilliant writing, because of the whole significance of the 420 movement, and its’ centrality to Colorado, legalizing marijuana.  But not only that.  The geographies are amusing, also because the first letters would be PCP, and I don’t think the writers of A Thousand Suns were indeliberate about that.  My favorite part of it was that the plane crash was a work of fiction, and no one actually died.  I hate the news, because it’s grim and gritty and real life and death.  It doesn’t entertain me at all.

I WAS home last night trying to detox myself from the shit nature of yesterday.  The only good thing that happened wasn’t good:  I did the dishes before I had to go to work.  Thereafter, work just generally sucked ass.  After work it was coaxing the kids to do anything while doing it myself because it has to get done.  Then I did one of two required social gatherings for the week, basically trying not to interact too much with anyone.  Finally, Mrs M. made me run an errand that really shouldn’t have been necessary.  Sure, honey, I’ll go undo what you shouldn’t have done in the first place.

So I fixed it.  And while fixing it, I decided I should write about

The Symbolic Nature of Breakfast.

Breakfast is symbolic to me, and not just because I almost never seem to make it. = Breakfast is revered by some, as the most important meal of the day, including WebMD.  I don’t eat breakfast usually, settling for a cup or two of coffee, and waiting until lunch.  In the morning, I usually wake up irritable and nauseous.  Oh wait.  I’m irritable and nauseous more than just in the morning.  Nausea can come any time of day or night.  I get the whole pitching, yawing stomach, belching, thinking whether I’m going to puke, any time of the day.  And irritable?  I start out at a slightly irritated level, a kind of baseline. Then add having to face family, chores no one else seems to be willing to help with, traffic, work, more fucking traffic, and then home.  Add to that the idiots on the news:  politics, pedophiles, perpetrators, and occasionally, physicians, and my stress and irritation levels are pretty well set, and then set off.  Mrs M loves the news, I swear, she turns it on and then ignores it, maybe tuning in for weather and traffic, while I sit being traumatized by the shitty way people treat each other in the world and the gleeful or fucking bright and cheery way the news people talk about that.  But that’s not   breakfast’s fault.  I actually love breakfast, it’s just that in the morning I don’t want anything because of the nausea, exacerbated by the nauseating news, the sinus drainage, the sneezing fit, the urge to go to the bathroom that comes just in time to make me late, or almost late, for work, that hits me every day when I have to go to work, and never when I don’t have to.  Breakfast, to me, is a symbol of my control over life.

For that realization, I understand why I love breakfast, when I can manage to make time for it.  Waffles, or pancakes, or biscuits, eggs cooked almost any way, those breakfast meats, maybe some fruit preserves on toast, coffee, juice…  If I wasn’t already nauseated this morning I might be hungry.  Western Europe does it right.  There’s something called English Breakfast, and Scotland and Ireland have something like it. Go on and click that, and look at those images. It’s amazing, except for the black “pudding” or “sausage.”  Ew.  I just don’t like anything done with blood, that’s gross.  You can call that anything you want, and I still won’t like it. But aside from that, an English breakfast is beautiful and looks delicious.  That would take some time to eat.  A lot of time for me.  I’m a slow eater.

On any given workday, I have a cup of coffee.  It’s black and bitter and delicious if I’m awake enough to taste it.  Today I ground the Kenya, it’s the best bean in the world, but my stomach is literally spasming for some reason, I’ll call it a symptom of some mild stress.  I got through the sneezing, I think, but I still have the sinus drainage.  I guess I had a small margin of control this morning because I was awake and alert enough to want the good coffee and not the normal everyday crap.  I might get hungry around 10 or 10:30 but usually by that time I’m in the workday and don’t get a break long enough for much.  So I might eat a bagel or have a yogurt.  Again, symbolic of my lack of control over life.  The less control, the smaller breakfast.  Breakfast is a literal metaphor.

Most days it’s the daily crap because if I have to get to work I’ve usually struggled to get up, get the wife and kids shoved out the door, maybe get a chore or two or three done, and then run my own ass out to work.  There’s no time to enjoy anything, and then, traffic, and then, work.  Hooray!  (?)

They try, in the fast food world, to offer people control.  If you have money you can grab anything from a breakfast sandwich or croissant to a full breakfast with pancakes, to go.  I admit, that although I can’t eat french fries, I love hash browns.  So if it’s a leisurely kind of day, but I’m forced to go somewhere, if Mrs. M arm twists me to go somewhere, like to visit the in-laws, I get a whim and want that sausage and egg biscuit, or even the “big breakfast” that includes pancakes.  I ask Mrs. M to drive, so I can eat.  And sip my coffee slowly.

On a weekend, Sundays I might have a cinnamon roll with my coffee, because I want to go to church and don’t have time for more, but it’s sweet.  On a Saturday, though, I want the time and control to have the big breakfast, and I’m usually the cook.  So either eggs or waffles or pancakes or biscuits and home made gravy or preserves.  Control.  Sweet, delicious control.  I have time to relax and eat at a nice leisurely pace and enjoy everything that’s good about breakfast.  Maybe even grits.

When I go out to eat, once in a very blue moon, so blue it’s purple (not just because that’s my favourite colour, but because it’s how rare that happens), if there’s breakfast on the menu I’ll order that.  Again, it’s a demonstration of my control over life.  I have a little extra money, life is good enough I can actually go out to eat, for fuck’s sake, and then I have the time to sit and enjoy breakfast and maybe a pleasant conversation.

If I had the money and time, I might never miss breakfast.  I might have an English breakfast in England.  Naaah!  Who am I kidding?  I hate traveling.  It’s too stressful.  I wonder how long it would take after getting there before I relaxed enough to eat breakfast. If you can eat breakfast, have something for me.  Sit there a while if you can.  Look out at the sunrise, and enjoy the leisure.  Appreciate the small measure of your control over your life.  Maybe, for breakfast dessert, have a fruit cocktail.  With some whipped cream, because whipped cream represents the ultimate, decadent, fully awesome, control over one’s life.

I need to get to work.

Hysteria Rage

It’s a little-known fact that Deon Mumple exhibits hysteria rage.  That’s all about to change.  It’s true:  Deon Mumple exhibits hysteria rage.

I was trying to find a word that means “fear of hysterical idiots, frenzies and those who encourage the hysteria, the idiots, and their various frenzies,” but all I could find was “fear of mankind,” which at second glance appears to be closer to the truth than I would like.  Which is why I like my bunker.  And it’s not really fear so much as pathological hatred.

Honestly, I do my best not to hate people.  Instead I hate trends.  I have a special hatred for trends that cost me money.  Beanie Babies.  Cabbage Patches.  Gaming iZords.  Cell Phones.  Global warming.  Sorry, it’s hysterical fear, not real science.  We don’t have actual data that supports it, we only have speculation.  So for that I only hate people who try to force that religion (and it IS religion) down my throat.  So is a lot of so-called “science.”  Digital TV.  The government shoved that down everyone’s throats and said it would improve the quality of reception for everyone.  Well, I still can’t see certain digital channels clearly unless the sun, moon and stars align just right and there aren’t any solar flares, so that was a lie.

I hated the trend of reality TV shows, no great loss there if I can’t see it.  From Jerry Springer and Geraldo Rivera on down through recent history, all those shows suck.  They show the lowest things they can get away with showing, so everyone else feels better because they aren’t as bad, or as poor, or as evil, or as stupid.  Or are they?  And on the other side, there are the celebrity and rich people shows that encourage envy.  I mean, who (besides Deon, that idiot) doesn’t want a mansion and a limo and a chauffeur?

I hate the keeping-up-with-the-joneses fads so you know I don’t have the newest cell phone.  They’re money suckers.  I would have been content with my land-line, but Mrs. M wants to be able to harass me when I’m out, or when she’s out.  So I have a cell phone but the damned thing is turned off most of the time.  And you also know I don’t have to have the biggest, baddest, fastest, of anything.  I don’t look over the neighbors’ fences to see their new car, like they show on the damned TV commercials, not that I have the money to spend on that shit.  If I did, it wouldn’t be wasted on many frivolities.

I hate the Pokemon Go trend.  Sorry kids, but no, I don’t think you should be staring at your cell phones while walking into traffic to catch the rare and elusive Moltres or Articuno.  Or fucking DRIVING in traffic to catch it, or to hatch your damned eggs at 15 mph because you’re too fucking lazy to serve the secondary purpose of the game which is to get you to GO, by walking a few kilometers.  Get the FUCK out of my way, you damned kids!  And you, walkers, get the hell off my yard!  Used to be only the milkshakes brought all the boys, and now it’s the stupid Squirtles and Pikachus.  If there’s any Pikachus peekingatme, or at my wife or kids, I’ll have the damned things arrested.  What the hell is wrong with those boys anyway, are there no more football games or gang fights or other participatory sports to go participate in?  And what’s wrong with the girls?  Are there no participatory sports or gang fights or football games to participate in?

I hear what you’re thinking, if you go for Pokemon Go:  He’s an expert, how does he know those names and that they’re rare if he doesn’t play?   Well for one, I have my wife and kids Pokemon go-ing, one who literally drove around the block at 15 mph either to catch one or hatch one.  I hate it, but I tolerate it. Go, for heaven’s sake.  Walking.  I don’t want to “ketcham” all.  All I want is Mrs. M.

I hear what you’re thinking and for the record, I am not in favor of gang fights.  I hate the trend of irresponsibility, which has probably been going on since Billy Budd killed John Claggart or Cain killed Abel.  I’m not at all in favor of committing murder and then making excuses.  Or any other crime against another person followed by an excuse.  I was taught when I was a kid (oh, read that in my “angry-old-man” voice! which, coincidentally, sounds a lot like my normal voice, shut up, damn it), “Excuses are like ass holes.  Everyone has one, and they all smell like bullshit.”  If you’re going out for a gang fight or a drive-by shooting or a robbery or whatever other inappropriate shit you want to do, don’t try to make excuses.  If you’re going out to shoot someone who’s unarmed, in the back, don’t try to say you were only doing your job.  If you rape someone, or assault them in any other way, don’t try to say she (or he) was asking for it.  I call fucking bullshit on all those lies.  Your actions are on you, not anyone else.

There’s a difference between literature.  Both were stories alluding in their own twisted plots in some way to the death of Jesus. One was a true story and the guy claimed full responsibility for his actions, and the other was a work of artistic fiction where the guy said we ought to judge his intentions and not the actual cause and effect of events.  And sadly, the modern era shows life imitating bleeding art, so we have bleeding hearts instead of just coming clean and admitting the whole truth.  Last time I checked, I didn’t have the divine power to judge an intention or a thought.  I can only see what happened and know who did it, I can’t know why.  People lie about why anyway, and you can’t trust them.  I’m waiting for the fictional story of the dystopian society where …   Nevermind, I hate the modern trend of dystopian society stories.  It’s so common it’s lost all meaning.  I’m bored, move on.

I hate the panic fad.  I can’t watch the news and I hate the teasers they put on to advertize the news.  You’ve heard the teasers:  “Hackers and terrorists are going to steal your identity, your money, your property and then your life and there’s not a damned thing you can do about it.  Find out why, tonight at 6!”  “There’s a dangerous thing right in your house, and you use it every day and it’s going to make you vomit and bleed from your eyes and ears and ass holes and then kill you.  Find out what it is, tonight at 11.”  Or worse, “Someone broke into several home near you, broke all their shit, shit on their carpets and dishes, raped the family gerbil and set the neighborhood on fire, and your neighborhood could be next.  Find out about it tonight at 10!”   Fuck you, news ass holes.  I also hate the news itself.  They only want to tell you the shit, until they run out of shit to shovel and then they show you the cat hoarder and the lady whose baby was attacked by a baby lion.  Those were on this morning.  They want to scare you, when a little common sense would avert the bullshit.

Presidential candidates?  I hate the presidential candidates too.  Whoever gets into office, it’ll be bad.  That’s hopeless and I’m tired of being afraid of whomever gets in.  I love the USA as a concept, but by and large the people are idiots.  Or, we’re being lied to and the people we allegedly picked were not actually picked by popular vote.  Conspiracy theory. Don’t nevermind, and please, don’t kill me if you work for Trump or Clinton.  They should have to do their own fucking dirty work, and then they should have to admit they did it.  Politicians should all wear shock collars that blast them if they lie.  Tell THAT story, dystopian novelists.  Oh.  Nevermind.  That’d be a utopia, not a dystopia.  Unless you’re a politician, I suppose.

I’d rather see stories about heroes and cheap ways to romance your wife and people who’ve stayed married for 95 years and they’ve never committed adultery and they’ve still not murdered each other.  “Mr. Jones, tell us how you do it.”  “Well, generic deep-voiced newscaster, it’s like this:  ‘Me-e a-and, Mrs.  Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones… We’ve got a thing goin’ on.'”  I’d rather see stories about criminals caught in the act and stopped, and instant karma, but too frequently there’s no such thing.

Like the old Rolling Stones song goes,  “you cain’t always git what you wa-aaunt.”

And Mrs M. wonders why I’m depressed sometimes.  Fuck me.  (Please!)  See, that’s the cure for everything that’s wrong with me.  Maybe it’s the cure for all of society.  All I need is a good steak, maybe some cake (yeah, you know what I mean, if you know what I mean), some average ice cream, shit that doesn’t fall apart, and hot, steamy, healthy …um, reciprocating social interactions… with Mrs. M.  Bring on some NATURAL anti-depressants and I really believe I’d be just fine.  And honey?  Would you shut off the damned news, please?  And get off your phone already.  You can’t?  Who is it anyway?

Oh.  Shit.  I can’t win.  It’s a Charizard.

Shorter

Can we say it in a shorter, quicker, pithier way?

I’m all for concise speech (says the guy who rambles on in his blogs about nothing, or about the same things, again, and again, ad nauseum), but I think the era of twitter and instant messaging has taken this in a negative direction.

Instead of making us better communicators, I believe we’re terrible at it and we are getting worse and not better.  I’m on Twitter, sure.  But I really dislike the way Twitter’s hashtag communication links are bleeding into day-to-day communication.

Please don’t say “hashtag” fill-in-the-blank out loud when you are speaking.  It doesn’t make your conversation pithier or more concise, it makes you sound like an idiot.

I reached the absolute last straw with this “Brexit” thing.  I kept hearing people talk about “Brexit” this, “Brexit” that, and I kept asking myself what the fuck is “Brexit?”  Well, I listened to some news and found out it has to do with Britain Exiting from the European Union.  How the fuck is this making our communication more clear?  Sure it’s concise.  Sure it’s quicker to say.  But it’s not making things clearer and easier to understand.  It’s making our newscasters sound like idiots.

I know you need to be concise and move on to your next story quickly.  Your newscast has to flow #mextly.  Do not fucking start using that term without paying me for the rights.    But if I just randomly started using #mextly, no one would understand what the fuck I’m talking about.  It’s concise, but it’s not clear.  In short, #mextly is as moronic as any of the other shorthanded hashtag expressions that have become a part of our language.

I don’t want life, or communication, to be abbreviated to the point it’s unintelligible gibberish.  But that’s the way absolutely everything has become.

Say what you have to say.  Say. the. words.  If I’m interested I’ll continue listening past the 5 second attention span everyone is down to.  If I get bored, it wasn’t something I wanted, or needed, to know about.  If no one listens, get a clue and shut the fuck up.  Oh, sorry.  I should have said, #STFU, which actually takes MORE time to say.  But somehow it’s more concise.

The Darkness’ Curse

The Darkness’ Curse, 4/11/2016, Deon Mumple

A dark little man at a dark little desk
Thinks dark little thoughts about all the darkness
The lights are all bright, pierce the heart of the night
But his bleeding soul drips the dark and his fright
Worry circles grow, not concentrically
But in a spiral just like Fibonacci
His sin, he’s hidden, but he knows and it shows,
Fighting, fear of discovery only grows
He tries hard to ignore the strangers outdoors
Safely hid from insidiousness of boors
Lock the door to insure nobody gets in
Even the media suggests hate could win
As we teeter and lean on edge, the cliff,
It does no good to wail and to cry and sniff,
While stiff upper lips get a fist for “fuck you,”
Tomorrow’s news promises there’s nothing new
Hell’s casting its spell, tells the blind all is well,
A dark little man fears they will crack his shell
It doesn’t seem to matter, what any do,
The dark escapes harshly, and lies becomes true,
The dark hopeful man at his dark little desk,
Says a prayer, he cares, trapped inside the darkness.