According to internet rumors, Fidel Castro died yesterday, 11/25/2016, at age 90. In unrelated news, Florence Henderson died 11/24/2016 at age 82. And having seen the internet all atwitter about his death, Fidel Castro laughed himself to death shortly after the rumors began circulating. The rumors were confirmed by a text break-in on NBC during the Late Night show with Seth Meyers.
Now we’re waiting for the answers to several questions. Who will take over as Cuba’s new leader? Will Cuba switch to a democratic government? Will someone finally show Cuba the money?
And here’s one for all you students of Supernatural: Will Sam and Dean have to re-kill Castro like they did Hitler? No, that’s not actually my question. Before the sun came up in Florida, Cuban-American residents were celebrating in the streets. But as soon as the announcement was made, I recalled the death of Florence, and started to wonder, whose soul will be harvested next? And will their first name start with F?
The reason I speculated immediately was because of a theory about how the supernatural realms seem to work. Deaths seem to happen in threes. (thanks, @PhilHaney.) The ones that intrigue me aren’t so much the boring ones, like when a plane crashes or whatever. The ones that intrigue me are the ones where the public figures are all famous in different areas. A political figure. An entertainment figure. A religious figure. Robin Williams doesn’t count- he was all three at once.
But if you need death to take two to go with Robin Williams, how about Spock’s wife T’Pring? Arlene Martel played that role and was excellent at it. She played several brilliant characters, and she died the day after Williams. She was beautiful, no denying it.
But in that role, she played a complete bitch. Look at that photo. Spock was going to bang that gong. He was going to hit that, metaphorically and logically speaking, and she wasn’t having any of that. That hand says “NO!” And look at his face.
Spock (unspoken) : What the fuck?! BITCH!! Now what am I supposed to do with all this pon farr?
She was his wife, he had come back after a long space voyage looking for some logical, close-quarters social interaction, and figured he’d charm her with his flawlessly lubricated logic, beautiful eyebrows and perfect ears. She’d respond with her own flawlessly charming, steaming, wet logic, and a while later she’d give birth to a logical kid. Named “Mac.” (intosh… like the Apple, meh it was funny when I first thought of it.) But no. She wants him to prove himself, or die trying, and she’s already picked the other guy and an expendable “second,” for the duel. God knows what she’s already done with Stonn, but logic could guide a guess, because she doesn’t care what happens to either Spock or the second, but Stonn is not to be damaged. And the second? James (Jim) T. Kirk.
Fucking BITCH! So, Spock, you want to do the logically nasty with THIS? Then give up your career, forget your Star Fleet Academy training, kill your best friend, and then I’ll decide if you’re worthy. If you won’t leave him for me, you can’t have it. There are marriages about like that. Is any woman really worth all that? After being forced to fight his best friend until Dr. McCoy said, “Damn it. Jim! He’s Dead!!” or something like that, Spock’s head cleared from being logically hot and horny and he decided, logically, that he didn’t want anything to do with her. In my fan-fiction in my head, Nurse Christine Chapel came in a close second and Lieutenant Nyota Uhura captured Spock’s heart with her completely illogical love song.
It was a shocking turn of events, because Spock was favored to fall for Chapel because of her voice’s amazing similarity to the ship’s computer voice. But in the end, Majel Barrett-Christine Chapel Siri-Prime Vox ex Machina got Rodenberried. Rodenmarried? Did some Gene-splicing without a test tube?
Uhura. In the original series, Kirk kissed her and we all knew something was wrong, because in our hearts, whether we were consciously aware of the knowledge or not, Uhura was destined for Spock. But Kirk… pushy… obnoxious… ham… KIIIIRRRRRKK!!! kissed her, right on the TV, and all the segregationists died a little inside. If only they had all just died that day. But alas, Uhura’s magic spell didn’t go far enough. If it had been Spock, they all would have died in a fit of hot logic, and the whole world would have been a better place. But Kirk kissed all the girls in space, and then abandoned them. It was in the script. Nichelle Nichols is a decade older than my mum, and I’ll be damned if she’s not STILL hot. You can soft-focus Chapel or Arlene’s T’Pring and they’re still not as hot as Nichelle’s Uhura at any age.
Oh. You still don’t believe in the three, because I haven’t mentioned the third. If Arlene wasn’t famous enough, how about Take 3: Lauren Fucking Bacall? Died the same day as Arlene. Lauren Bacall was sultry, mysterious and sexy:
Makes a person wonder what else she knows how to do, doesn’t it? Bacall was married to Bogart, and she kept him until he died. She kept the guy whose name would become synonymous with stealing someone else’s girl, or being a tough guy, and he was completely hers, and complete putty in her hands. She was a movie star, before the movies became dime-a-dozen you can watch twenty four hours of different ones for a year and only scratch the surface. And she was good at that sultry, powerful and in control sex symbol thing. Oh, yeah, she inspired women to go to Hollywood and try to be stars, and not only that, she inspired songs:
There’s your three for Mr. Robin Williams. Lauren Bacall, and Arlene Martel. Although they were all talented actors, still it begs the question, if a famous actress and a politician die within a day of each other, and if their first names both start with F, will someone famous in another line of work, perhaps religion, whose name starts with F, die shortly?
I’ll be checking but I won’t watch it on the news until Mrs. M turns it on. I might miss it. If it happens, let me know in case Mrs. M. turns ME on. That Pon Farr, it’s a logical, but mind-affecting thing. I totally get that. So honestly, if I miss the third celebrity “F” in favor of an episode of Deon Pon Farr, well then, “F”-it. I think I’ll probably be able to catch up. But nevertheless, let me know. If she throws in a demand that I quit my job, that will be no problem. But if she throws in a demand that I kill my best friend, she’ll have to tell me who the fuck that is. I have no idea.
In an unrelated note, I need a best friend. Anyone up for the job? I may have to kill you, but so far no one has been harmed in the making of prior episodes and flare-ups of Deon Pon Farr. Except Deon. I took a right elbow to the eye once… And it was TOTALLY WORTH IT.