My boss, because she doesn’t want to catch more shit from me than when she rips the carrot on a string on a stick away from me in the new year, encouraged me to schedule some more days off, rather than letting me miss them (and also miss getting paid for them) because I’ve worked there so long and I don’t take sick days, so they’re saved up on my calendar. So I said, how about tomorrow? And she agreed, which means I’m off today. I need it, for mental health and to kind of see what I can catch up on. Fuck, I wish I were manic in a productive way instead of just the one that sees EVERYTHING that needs to be done all at once and can’t start on any one thing and carry it to completion.
It was a nice gesture, if I weren’t such a cynic and a whiny little bitch I’d fully appreciate it. It’s just that I expect more shit around the corner from work because I’m the one who’s stable and accepting people to act according to their word, and they’ve always disappointed my faith and my faithfulness. The carrot was, I asked for more money and was told that the 2016 budget is tapped but wait until after the new year. After the new year I’ll be told that because I’m on an improvement plan until February I’ll have to wait until second quarter to be eligible to get a raise and then after my first performance review evaluating my performance from now until the beginning of the year they can tell me how I had attendance issues in August and September and still can’t have a raise until the next review which will naturally be delayed until end of the third or beginning of fourth quarter. Fucking fucktards. I have foreseen it, because that’s the way this company fucks over their faithful employees and that’s why they have to offer more to get people coming in the front doors to replace the ones who’ve been lucky enough to slip out their back doors to greener pastures. Maybe I can be next. Or maybe her lies won’t be lies.
At least I get time off. Maybe one or two of my upcoming scheduled days off I can run into a recruiter who’s looking for a writer/editor and will pay better than I get on the damned phones. Last times I tried I had someone try to offer me another damned phone job after I expressed my disappointment with that kind of work- not even a supervisor position, but even worse than where I am now. She offered me a phone sales job when I wanted to be off the phones completely. And the other one I was uncomfortable and felt awkward and they evidently sensed that and decided I wasn’t a good fit for their team. I hate interviews. What the fuck kind of question is “If you were a color what color would you be and why?” Or “Can you define ‘Brimborion?‘” The answer to the second question is, “me,” except that’s not the answer they will hire me for offering. Don’t say “I am.” Don’t say “I am.”
I hate interviews.
And I don’t want to “do” anyone, so that answer wouldn’t enter my mind.
It’s time to make a change. So instead of more housework at MY house, I’m going to mum’s. I hope you can make today count for you in a good way.