Control, 08/31/2016, Deon Mumple
I keep control under control
What I really want to do
Is let the whole thing just explode
I control control for you.
I maintain these strong defenses,
Monitoring all details.
Who knows the consequences
If I should let myself fail?
What I want to do is be me,
The one that lets it all fly,
Drop the bombs, so everyone sees,
And occasionally cry.
Quit the things that waste so much time,
Except those things support me,
Buy my vodka, tonic and lime,
Oh, and food. I like to eat.
Control is the mask I’m wearing,
Hiding failure, rage, panic.
Medicine’s not really helping,
And control makes me feel sick.
When I slip and I’m really real,
People act like I’m crazy.
If I always said how I feel,
I might be locked up, no key,
Hide the symptoms, appear normal,
Everything will be just fine,
If it looks right other people
Won’t read me between the lines.
Is it me or is it my mask,
Other people say they love?
Is it me, or, I’m scared to ask,
All that I’m in control of?