Yesterday I felt “off” all day. I wasn’t able to get to my blog. As much as I hate being dependent on anything, I rely on my blog as a means to vent various rages, offend, or express, and I’m afraid I’ve become dependent on it. When I couldn’t get here, my whole day was just a little “off.” I don’t want to say I’m addicted.
I woke up this morning and still feel “off.” It’s the “off” of having missed something, having forgotten something, it’s lurking in the back of my mind and I can’t quite shake it even though I don’t really think I’ve forgotten something at all. It’s not the desperate “off” of losing something you need, it’s the “off” of having not done something you needed to do.
Deon Mumple, Obsessive Compulsive? Not sure if… I need the routine to help my soul feel at peace, or if I need my soul to feel at peace so I settle into comfortable routines. Whatever. I LIKE my routines, people, don’t fuck with it. See also, this. It’s only symptom #2. Or, maybe it’s just that I missed all of you. Perish the thought. Insert meme style pic of Karen Olivio as Vanessa in Lin Manuel-Miranda’s In the Heights, captioned “Y’all are freaks!” Isn’t she beautiful? And hilarious. The simplest explanation is that I missed writing, and felt a little put off because I didn’t do it. Could it be that simple? Maybe. I’m not good with having feelings, much less understanding my feelings, which is one of the reasons I write.
I can’t go back to yesterday and write, all I can do is start today and hope my soul feels more at peace after I publish whatever crap I’ve typed. (Please accept my humble apologies?) Insert meme style pic of Deon laughing his ass off, because, as if he gave a rat’s ass, much less his own…and… it just fell off. Please, no pics of Deon. The internet would break. I prefer Olivio’s face anyway, she’s MUCH cuter than me. (Broken mirror image stolen from Pinterest) I looked for a picture of a rat’s ass to offer you delightful readers, all six of you, and I couldn’t find anything satisfactory. Wait. Are there only five of you today?! The mirror either broke as a result of my looking at it, or as a mercy preserving the integrity of the internet. Integrity on the internet, now there’s a funny meme waiting for an image to convey its’ trustworthiness, isn’t there?
It’s also possible I’m having the “off” feeling because of having had Monday off from work, and having a short week this week, and having the persistent feeling that it should be Friday already. I won’t get over it until tomorrow evening.
OK, I can’t admit anything mushy, but it’s possible I missed all of you all day yesterday and it threw off my groove. And I’m not even an emperor. It’s also possible the whole thing is something I made up. Because maybe I am an emperor. If I am, I’m an evil one that everyone thinks is good. Insert evil emperor meme captioned Mwaahahahahahaaaa!! Internet fact checkers, start your browsers!!
Even Meg here is cuter than me. But I’m the hottest guy within 3 feet of myself. “And that’s the ‘gospel’ truth.”