Pretend

Pretend, 5/16/2016, Deon Mumple

(forgot to say, I was inspired by The Great and Powerful Sass! Go have a good read: https://sassafrass20blog.wordpress.com/2016/05/16/when-the-mask-crumbles/comment-page-1/#comment-5641)

When I was young I used to love to play pretend sometimes,
I’d pretend I could fly a plane, or I could fly, just I,
Then there were times I wanted to be left alone, just me,
I wished I could just disappear, go where no one could see
That I wanted to cry because I felt so strange inside
I’d despair knowing there wasn’t a place where I could hide
Still me, today I still wish sometimes I could be normal
Whatever that is, I hide almost all the time, hopeful
That no one sees behind the masks I wear, playing pretend,
But wishing I could feel normal, wishing the act could end
I tried to take the mask off, no one believed it was me
I’ve worn the masks so long they’ve become some reality
I’m scared. I’m hurt. I’m feeling used. I’m swept under the rug
Denied for dreams, my hopes deferred, really want a God-hug.
When I lifted the mask my so-called friends said I’m to blame,
I should fix my own problems, “Why can’t you ‘just’ change? For shame!”
I still wish I could disappear, to go somewhere and cry
They want me to pretend I can endure, keep on, go, try
I hate the game, the masquerade, pretending I’m happy
So they can keep on ignoring my feelings, the real me

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5 thoughts on “Pretend

  1. Ugh, pretend play and masks, story of my adult life.
    How I miss being five years old, out in my Wonder Woman Underoos and cape, jumping off the top of my dad’s pick up because I was too naive to realize even if I could fly…life would just shoot me down.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I pretend they don’t exist, make my mental list and check off the things I want to do if I get them done, and they keep interrupting me with proofs of their existence, and further demands without rewards. And they don’t believe I have any kind of mood disorder. But my brain denies their perception of reality.

    Liked by 1 person

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