Chaos

Chaos, 5/9/2016, Deon Mumple

I need to care a little less about every detail of the chaos surrounding, swirling
around my brain, a tornado, debris is shredding too many pieces of me away
while I spend time caring, I can’t keep trying so hard to hold on to everything,
praying About too many details of other people’s existence, while mine
derails. I wish and hope and pray for you that you figure out your details
But I can’t care this much while watching the clutter shred my sails
I have to be free to help myself; I realize I’m a hoarder of hearts
And I want to keep your heart-plate spinning merrily but parts
Of my own heart are gushing from a thousand stabbing darts
Tatters, ripped through and through; I need to stitch them up
I feel lost, alone in a swarming crowd, lifting my beggar’s cup
And no one notices I’m full of death myself, messed up, Can’t
find me for all the confusion inside, you can’t help If God
won’t intervene; I need to escape, I want to cut away, run
Would it help if I had a day free from the grey and won
time in the sun?  Speaking through fused helium
might make me laugh, before heat stunned
What can I cut away? How can I escape the
day? I can’t see through the tempest; Can’t
see anything because the shredded bits of
my attempts To help you are failing, and
leaving me feeling alone and empty-You
can’t stop yours and save me; Don’t
throw yourself bravely Into my black
swirling wind.  If you die I’ll die.
I’ll try to find the eye and see
If there’s a way to seize control,
before I’m gone completely.
Meanwhile, if I care a little
less about your messy de-
tails, chaos around your
head I hope you’ll
understand if I try
to fix mine a
while, and
Then go
back to
bed.

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2 thoughts on “Chaos

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