Dead Four Daze

Dead Four Daze, 4/21/2016, Deon Mumple

I used to be able to handle the shock
When life dealt a hammer blow
I might cry about all the hard knocks
I could pray, wait, trust, and just know

But now death hits harder, this life is stupid,
I want something else instead,
I can’t fight any more, I can’t just stay hid,
And God hasn’t left me dead

I used to be able to answer with faith,
And pray, confident, when things went wrong.
But I feel undead like a zombie, or wraith
And I’ve felt like this way too long

I used to see miracles answer my prayers,
I used to celebrate: God scored!
Now just questions and silence come answer the scares,
And my prayers have been ignored.

I’m like Mary and Martha and anyone there
After Lazarus was dead four long days:
We asked You to show up! Do you even care?
My faith died, my soul’s in a daze.

The more I wait, feeling the death of my soul,
I wonder if He’ll save me.
Which god is the real God?  What’s the end-goal
Of killing someone who believes?

I sit in the darkness with everyone else here,
And I’m told I should light up the night
So prove true now, I ask, I’ll proclaim all my years,
Let darkness be eclipsed by Your Light!

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One thought on “Dead Four Daze

  1. I’m reflecting on I Kings 18 asking in my own life for the real God to show up. The text has its’ humor, and jokes about how the wrong god must be asleep or relieving himself, and then God shows up in a huge way and everyone is shown the truth. I’m also reflecting John 11 when it seemed like Jesus was late to the party and then He did his second-biggest miracle, and waiting for the miracle in my own life, because I really need it. But the texts about “wait[ing] on the Lord” only hurt my soul right now. There are several texts about it, and people usually bring up Isaiah 40:31. But I’m not encouraged, or strengthened. I’m dying inside with every moment of silence and desperation.

    Like

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