I’m just irritated enough to bonus post on my blog, but it’s just a rant so don’t pay me any mind.
I mean, “JEREMIAH’S LAMENTATIONS!” I have been meaning to use that as profanity, to leak it into general usage. Just wait, soon it’ll be used as much as the aforementioned. By “aforementioned,” I mean, “FUCK!!” I’m just in a mood to say “FUCK!!!!!” So, FUCK!!!!
I’m just angry, that’s all. So it’s not worth anything, but i have to say something.
I wish life was fair. If life was fair jackasses wouldn’t fuck with the world for their own personal gain or self-aggrandizement. If life was fair people who do good things would be recognized and commended, not because there’s a hidden motive but just because they did something good. Alas, everybody wants something and there’s a whole cost/benefit sheet people mentally tick off before they bother do do something, after they figure out whether what they’re doing will be of benefit to themselves.
If life was fair people who do bad things would be punished, forced to do restitution and make things fair, and then summarily ignored and shunned by the community for anything else they do that’s bad. People should earn trust and be given positions based on their qualifications and skills, people should be promoted from within before someone is brought in from the outside, like a hired gun when you’ve already had a volunteer doing work for years. People should earn rank, not have it handed to them on a silver charger because other people could benefit from helping them. [[Conspiracy theory: George Bush and his son both got to be president because of their help with the coverups surrounding the assassination of Kennedy, ordered by, let’s just blame, Lyndon Johnson. Tit for tat; it’s how our beautiful, fucked up world works.]]
Just today I watched a flurry of emails go around my company where certain people, who others in importance actually liked, were commended for shit I do every week. No, I’m not bitter.
Yes I am bitter. It sucks. The flurry of emails was like a few rounds of applause, so I thought to myself, must be nice to be recognized for what you did once, I’ve only done the same kind of thing once or twice a week for the past fucking 9 years.
And the other day it was performance review time and the new boss didn’t know shit about shit so the person suggested I ought to do more and offer more creative ideas to help my company. I rattled off a list of things I had been offering as suggestions for the past year or two to my old boss who either buried the shit, didn’t do anything about it, or took credit for it as if they were their own ideas.
I heard things like “oh these are good ideas.” And then the new boss emailed my review for my acknowledgement and didn’t edit it to show I had contributed ideas. So the new boss gets credit for them now. And still doesn’t know shit about shit.
The followup emails that came around after the first, were more sucking up. Hot air. Kissing ass. The stench of it went all the way to the head of my office and then back down to the favorite children. I don’t play those fucking stupid games, but if I did, I’d probably be a fucking company president. These people are appreciated for doing shit I do all the time without recognition. These people are appreciated and I’m not noticed. I’m fucking invisible because I don’t blow big horns to draw attention to myself when I give my tuppence. I do what needs to be done because it needs to be done, when it needs to be done, and I often do extra things just because I get a personal satisfaction from it. Mostly I do things I think are the right thing to do, just because they’re the right fucking things to do.
BUT. (or do I mean, “BUTT?”)
I hate the way the world works. I don’t need to be liked but it sure would be nice if the world was fair about how it passes that shit around. And after you’re high enough on the totem pole everybody hovers around your ass and tells you how sweet your farts smell.
It smells, all right. Like bullshit.