It’s Good, I Guess

So this is kind of weird and I’m not sure whether to write about it or let it ride and see if it keeps happening.

Surely it must be a coincidence.  (“It IS a coincidence, and ‘…please stop calling me Shirley.'”)  Stole that joke from the Late Great Leslie Nielsen, from “Airplane.”

No, this is either really weird, or really annoying, or both.  This has been going on for 3 weeks straight and I want to do something about it but I don’t know what to do.

I write this blog and nobody knows I write it, not family, not friends, not church members. Certainly not my pastor.  As far as I know.  I mean, for fucks sake, LOOK at the uncontrolled profanity!! But for three weeks or more, since I am just writing and not keeping that close track of it, the guy on the stage, mind you, two different guys so far that I’ve noticed, has been taking texts I’ve written about and used them for the sermon.

It’s twisted.  No, I know I am but what are you?!

What the fuck is going on?

It’s either some spooky God-joke at my expense, or the speakers are trolling off my blog and giving a better (and of course, more holy) rendering of interpretation of texts I’ve chosen to write about.

If you’re trolling off my blog for sermon texts and ideas, fuck off and get your own.  Or, hire me as assistant fucking pastor and let me preach it.  Ha, that’d be a hell of a job title, wouldn’t it?  What’s happening is the texts I’m choosing to either kvetch and pray about my own situation or to make a pitiful attempt to prayerfully encourage others, are being spoken as either the main source or an auxiliary resource for the sermon of the week.

I only borrowed the following clip for the sound at the 8 second mark, and the hilarity of the rest of it, save the rest for later if you can bear it:


If this is a spooky God-joke at my expense, then YES, God, You’re fucking hilarious.  And I love You for demonstrating that sense of humour at my expense (truly).  I mean, how special did Jesus make his followers and skeptics feel when He took the very thoughts from their heads, spoken or not, and used them as jumping off points for his messages of love and encouragement?  Like the Samaritan woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery, the disciples, the pharisees, the lepers, the demon-possessed, the sick, etc.  If I’m being trolled by God, how exciting!  How great!  I feel special.  It means the things I’m saying might have at least some gravitas, some worthwhile quality, that You would (removing the profanity, of course, I suppose), use what I’ve written, twisted a little so it’s suitable to come out of the pastor’s lips, to encourage others (and try to encourage me).

But if it’s worthwhile, if it is somehow spiritually useful, could I please start getting paid something for my expense so I don’t have to stay in this shit-hole of an understatement of an underpayment of a laughable paycheck?  So I don’t have to have sore teeth?  So I don’t have to worry what happens when the next thing breaks in the house or the cars?  So I don’t have to sweat the next electric or rent or car payment or whatever?  So I can help out my friends instead of worrying about them and spouting what feel like very empty words attempting to encourage them?  (Wait, here’s a fleece, but sadly it won’t expose whether it’s an internet troll circumstance or a God-joke)

You say, God, that “17The elders who rule well are to be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who work hard at preaching and teaching. 18For the Scripture says, ‘YOU SHALL NOT MUZZLE THE OX WHILE HE IS THRESHING,’ and ‘The laborer is worthy of his wages.'”  So if I’m doing something good it’s worth a living wage, isn’t it? (see also Leviticus 19:13, Deuteronomy 24:14 & 15, Deuteronomy 25:4, Matthew 10, and Luke 10)

I’ll let the readers know next Monday.  If I make it to church.  There’s a rumour that I get to drive us somewhere next weekend, farther away from my bunker than I like, to see in-laws.  DUN DUN!! Oh. I mean(Smaller font.  Smaller still…)  hooray.  If I visit a different church in a different city and they use that text, it’s definitely a God-joke.


2 thoughts on “It’s Good, I Guess

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