Just when I thought I had settled into my well-maintained routine of sending out notes about how life sucked and I liked to bitch and moan, someone nominated me for my second ever blogging award. WTF??
I mean, That’s right Rosie Kelly, this is YOUR fault.
I mean… Thank you! 🙂
She says it’s OK if I “don’t do awards…” Well, I pestered another blogger a while ago and she nominated me, I wasn’t looking for awards but she did it to shut me up (fail!), and I “did” that one, so I guess I have to “do” this one. For some reason my writing resonates with a few people, but that doesn’t make it a shining example of “quality, uniqueness,” or having any “level of love.” (fail!) Ah, who am I to question it? Ms. Kelly is the very standard of The Versatile Blogger. She’s a brilliant, gorgeous, and frequently funny writer, Sorry Rosie, I noticed in that order and it’s on the record now. And I only said gorgeous because “hot” sounded like Mr. Stalker and I only do that from a distance. That said, were we both single I might look for a “hookup.” (Ha! I’m playing on her blog name.) Except I suspect she’s too young and smart to put up with me, not saying that Mrs. M isn’t smart, just saying I can’t figure out what the appeal is here. Except I’m steady and I love my Mrs. M for everything she is, which I guess includes all the things that piss me off and leave me an angry, bitter, crap hole of a writer.
If I were really versatile the blogs you shouldn’t have gone back to read would have been fine examples of literature, featuring the work of an actually talented writer who writes on a variety of subjects and emotional levels, and not a perpetually angry hack who’s stuck in a rut and swears a lot. “Jeremiah’s Lamentations!” keeps coming into my head and I haven’t written it but twice now. Instead of versatility, I say the more common profane expressions, how …common.
I’m drinking a cup of hot water because I poured a cup for tea, forgot to get some of Sir Thomas Lipton’s wonderful blend out of the box, meandered to my desk, sat, ate lunch, and I couldn’t be arsed to get up and get a bag of tea. I love tea, but this water… It’s … wonderful. I like tea or coffee, switch it up all day long, but mainly coffee in the morning and tea in the evening. With caffeine, please. It helps with the ADD, otherwise I’d be off on another tangent.
Speaking of tangents, I’ve gone off on another one. That’s a math thing, a line that intersects a circle at only one point. And… number two, which reminds me of my blog again. I’m supposed to focus on the award. If I knew anything about blogging I’d know how to display these bestowed honors somewhere, so obviously…
Thank the person that nominated you and include a link to their blog. (Check)
Nominate at least 15 bloggers of your choice. When considering a fellow blogger for the Versatile Blogger Award, keep in mind the quality of their writing, the uniqueness of their subject matter and the level of love displayed on the virtual page. (Challenge accepted)
Link your nominees and let them know about their nomination. (Check)
Share seven facts about yourself. (Check)
7 Facts about myself:
7) I’m always hungry and I like eating everything except fungi, shellfish, and brussel sprouts. Personal favorites are beef (especially ribeye, with broccoli and baked potato and wine, pork (Cuban, with garlic, black beans and rice, and beer), chicken (fried, with beer battered onion rings) and fish if I caught it myself. Contrary to common sense, it’s a wonder I don’t weigh 36 stone. It’s catching me so I’m cutting back lately. Nah! Pass the pizza, please!
6) I’ve typed the number 666 more than three times today in the normal course of my workday. Any guesses as to where I work? (you can guess, but I can’t tell you if you’re right. It’s OK, call me a tease.)
5) I’m proud to have raised stubborn, mostly independent children who are opinionated and sometimes disagree with me. It’s allowed and I think, a testament to my wife, who, other than at least twice, almost ALWAYS disagrees with me. I have one perfect young lady, and one perfect young man. Except when they don’t do their homework or chores, or when they’re overly whiny or demanding. Then they’re their mother’s kids.
4) I’m old enough to know what I want and frustrated I don’t get it often enough. I’m almost always frustrated.
3) I’m married to a perfect, beautiful woman who is as strong and independent and opinionated as her mother and grandmother, and her lovely daughter. She frequently disagrees with me, and that’s OK. And, for the record she could hardly give a shit about my writing because it’s not paying the bills, but she’s not standing over my shoulder reading this, so I am writing the compliments of my own free will. Is that how I needed to say it, honey? (just kidding, she’s not here reading it because I’m at work and she’s not going to read it because she doesn’t give a shit about my writing.)
2) I love my blog 🙂 But I love having time to read other people’s blogs too, more on this shortly.
1) Among many other things, I can’t stand politics and the news media. How is it possible Trump is getting into the White House when he’s offended at least 71.2 percent of the voters and only 25% of Americans admit they are Republican? How is it possible Clinton may get a shot, since her whole political career is full of nothing but scandals and lies? She says she knows how to get things done and she’s for more American jobs, but I don’t think she knows how to get them done right, if her track record is to speak. Are we ignoring the scandals, because we’re only going to get more scandals if she’s elected. People don’t change. I think it’s a conspiracy of the press to shove the shittiest candidates down the voters throats, tell us they’ve already won and we may as well either vote for them or stay home, and the American Sheeple are buying that shit. I stole “sheeple,” but I forget where I stole it from, if it’s your trademark, let me know and I’ll let the comment stand as credit. All of the 2016 people who are actually campaigning for president of the United States, make me scared as fuck for the future of our country. And I’m a patriot.
I follow a lot of good blogs. If you follow mine, it’s fine with me but don’t expect it to get any better because I don’t think I’ll get hit on the head and become that. I’m nominating the following people because I was told to only pick 15. Please check out their blogs, they’re awesome people and great writers all:
1)storyshucker.wordpress.com always tells stories that make you think. He’s an accomplished writer, the quality shines through. You need to read this blog.
2) gallifreytrenzalore.wordpress.com she’s lovely, she’s a lady, and she’s a Doctor Who fan. Need I say more? How awesome is that? She hasn’t written in a while but I hope she comes back. I think she’s either on a break or the Doctor has her on one of his wild adventures or something. She’ll probably be back day before yesterday.
3) sassafrass20blog.wordpress.com yeah, she’s sassy, she’s feisty, she writes straight from the heart with an emotional depth (and height) I envy. She lives somewhere not far from my secret bunker but I’ll probably never have the courage to go meet her, ntm, if we were any closer, my issues plus her issues would probably destroy a central midwestern city inside something known as 465, aka, hell for commuters. She has excellent taste in music, and at least one awesome tattoo (one I’ve seen anyway) If I were allowed 8 things about myself it would either be about music or about my love of tattoos on other people- i have zero on myself.
4) hortusclosus.wordpress.com Esther has one of the most beautiful, artistic, and balanced blogs I’ve ever seen. Her writings are amazing, and the artistic selections she pairs like wine to go with a course of a meal, make this one you won’t regret checking out.
5) www.gottafindahome.com The author writes about North American (oh, but Canadian) people without homes, their situations, their relationships. He’s really wonderful, and so are all of his friends that he writes about. We compartmentalize everything to distance ourselves, and he shatters our self-imposed, “protective” walls we built without needing them, and lets us in on these real, marginalized people who deserve our compassion as much as any other neighbor.
6) http://thatbasicbitch.com You had me at “bitch.” Not to start swearing, but that is fucking awesome. I was immediately attracted to the website just for the name. Look past that. She’s got a little bit of everything good in here. Look around, it’s good.
7) theblahpolar.wordpress.com as the saying goes, tit for tat, she knows what I mean because I mean it exactly like she’s taking it. She’s brilliant, expressive, beautiful, and I’ve never seen her. She makes me want to travel to South Africa, find her, tell her thank you a million times, give a great big long bear hug if she’ll let me, take a nice long walk under some very different stars, and sip a little whiskey on the beach from an extra special whiskey vessel I’ve been dying to see and drink from. Cake Vodka, Sass, I can’t have from here or anywhere else, but if anyone knows, she knows, what that must be, I’ll bet. Is that code? For marital reasons, no. For blogging humour, sure. She publishes fantastic pictures, lists of informative links, music links, and all kinds of cool things.
8) morgueticiasmentalhealthmausoleum.wordpress.com MorgueticiaAtoms is a lovely woman blogging about her life, her family, her conflicts, her successes, her failures if you could call it that, her feelings, she writes with furious passion and honesty.
9) thesarahdoughty.wordpress.com writes a lot of pretty and powerful poetry and even when she’s not writing poetry I think it could be a poem. Give it a read!
10) stephellaneous.wordpress.com is another eclectic mix, fact, fiction, life, stories, music, I enjoy everything. Everything.
11) marcellomeo.wordpress.com oh. my. everything on here is beautiful, photography, art, poetry, music… fantastic. Use the translator if you have to, it’s worth it.
12)myspanglishfamilia.wordpress.com writes about her family (duh, Deon!) her life, food, success, disaster, and everything in between. I LOVE reading this blog. LOVE IT.
13) iaccidentlyatethewholething.wordpress.com recipes, food, art, food, family, food, poetry, food, beautiful prose, food, she makes me hungry and I just ate. I am running out of superlatives, but YES.
14) inoirvelvet.com is addicting. You’ll see.
15) gracemusing.com, for a little dose of eternal truth, this blog is a mix of excellent authors. I’ve got my favorites and I’m hoping you’ll enjoy them too.
I just found this: