Thanks and muchicitas felicitas gracitimas to my lovely and talented friend, who is quite literally one of the greatest assets (wink) to the blogging world, La Sabrosona, for sending this challenge my way. She’s right, “anytime is a good time to be thankful.” And I for one should know. I spend far too much of my time being a big baby bitch. It’s the world’s fault though. If it wasn’t so logical I wouldn’t. But I haven’t won the lottery yet, and my more spiritually minded people say it’s wrong for me to even buy ONE ticket. I say unto thee, fucketh thou, for your God saith through the prophet Jonah’s writing (seriously, not kidding), that even the prophets were depressed sometimes (Jonah 4:1-9, see also I Kings 19:1-4), maybe especially them, AND that thy God controlleth the outcome of “the lots” (Jonah 1:7) so why the fuck not make ME win it?
The Challenge Rules:
• Share this image in your blog post
• Write about 5 people in your life you are thankful for
• Write about 5 things in 2015 that you are thankful for
• Spread the love and challenge 5 other blogs to take part
5 People in my Life I am Thankful for
- Mrs M. – She’s my wife, my love, my life, she’s got the most beautiful eyes I’ve EVER looked into and she encourages (and nags, and annoys, and mostly loves) me back to life when I feel like death. As distant as we sometimes feel, I’m an addict for life. Just thinking about her makes my day better. It’s a poem: being in her arms is rapture, and kisses and other blessings are heaven on earth. She has given me two of the other people I’m thankful for:
- My Daughter – She’s only a teen and already a woman. She’s hilarious in some unique ways, has brilliant taste in music and clothes, she’s smart(-assed), thoughtful and sensitive and sarcastic and sharp(-tongued) and beautiful and so fucking smart I’m jealous. She has the gift of saying something mean as fuck and making me laugh my head off because the way she says it is in perfect, genius, comedic timing, and she doesn’t even watch Lewis Black or Craig Ferguson. I’m so proud of her, I could pop. But there is the matter of the chores– the princess doesn’t want to wash dishes or dry them and put them away, and don’t ask her to cook for herself. And the picky eating, which I suppose must be normal but it’s irritating, as is the snark-asm sometimes, especially when directed at Mrs. M. Aside from that and the chores, she’s perfect, which will someday make a young man who endures my shotgun humour and her barbed wit, the second happiest man ever to live. And if a boy ever hurts my princess, I’ll probably kill him and have to hide the body. And even if she doesn’t find a boy who can handle the pressure, SHE will go far and be a great woman. I mean, look who she’s following and learning from!
- My Son – He’s almost a teen and he’s a man-boy. Somewhere in between being a boy and being a man, he balances his feelings FAR better than I did when I was his age, I’m jealous again. He’s hilarious in a different way, artistic and creative and he’s trying to assert himself but still be somehow nice when he really wants to yell and be angry. But there’s the matter of chores. He’s much more compliant but I have to stand there or he’ll wander off. The attention span of his fathe–fuck! — of a gnat. But if he sets his mind to something, NOTHING will hold him back. He’s growing up nicely, and if he listens to me when I say the RIGHT things he’ll go far, but if he listens when I say the wrong things, the whole world is fucked. Sorry, world, it’s up to him.
- My friend – I’ve got this friend, she sees my potential and although she says the honest critical shit I HATE I HATE I HATE her for, she’s right and I love her for believing in me when I’ve lost faith in myself, God, and all of humanity. She knows somehow that I can do things, reach my goals and stuff, and she knows spiritual truths about me that I haven’t fully confessed to anyone. Fucking savant-psychic! I love you, but stay out of my brain and my sin. I’ve had enough women traipsing through my fantasies I don’t want more.
- My other friend- I’ve got this other friend, we hardly ever see each other, I’m totally jealous of his faith and he encourages me too. He sends me things I’d never think I want, but they’re perfect. He’s gone from moderate riches to rags to moderate riches, with more faith and understanding than I will ever know. If God allowed that to happen to me again I would be even more faithless. What I need are riches. Tevia from Fiddler said it best: “If being rich is a curse, then may the Lord SMITE me with it! And may I NEVER RECOVER!”
5 Things in 2015 I am Thankful for
- WordPress readers and writers, and Celebrity crushes – I stole that first one from La Sabrosona and I’m certain she’ll forgive me. Beautiful eyes, beautiful soul. And I’ll also remark that all six of my followers offer me periodic encouragements in my times of distress. For this, for you all, I’m very grateful. I NEED to write, it’s therapy. Just ignore me when I’m bitchy, unless you think it’s worthwhile reading, or funny or whatever. Or quit following (but not all six of you at once, please! That’d be depressing.) I’ve just felt liberated, right or wrong, to write, from the secrecy and safety of my hidden bunker, and to call things as I see them because nobody, but nobody, can find my hiding place, unless I invite them. Hayley Atwell, you’re invited. Ruthie Connell, you’rre invited. Craig Ferguson, you’rre invited, and so’s yourr old friend Peter Capaldi. Hmm. That might be a preponderance of Scots… What the hell, why not? I bet you didn’t even know, a gaggle of geese, a murder of crows, a stud of mares, a preponderance of Scots. Come on over. (Hmm. I think it might be fun to be a stud of mares…) The entire cast of Dexter, you’re invited, especially Jennifer Carpenter. You can swear here, or not, without fear of your family. (It’s a REALLY big, REALLY fun bunker, if you believe in me. And it’s all off-camera- NO PAPARAZZI allowed.) All of you fun, spiritually deep, beautiful writers, who’ve read my dreck and said it was OK, you’re invited. And you interesting readers from Africa, Europe, Australia, Canada, Mexico, Central and South America, Asia, etc., you’re invited. Oh, OK, U.S. Citizen writers, too. It’s pot luck, so whatever’s in the pot, I’ll share. There will be more if you all bring something to the party. No guns, sorry, I’ve got kids around and one can’t take chances.
- Cash Flow – I’m very thankful that although things have fallen apart in some substantial (and a few trivial) ways, although I bitch about them and my lack of cash, I actually have cash FLOW. I just wish it were more incoming, like a lake, or a biiiiigggg-asss storage container, and a little less quick on the out-go. Still have personal things that need fixing before they get worse, I think next year after recovering from the car crisis, the home AC, twice, and the other lunacies life has thrown our way…
- My Relationship with Wife and extended Family – I’m thankful that although I LOATHE the honey-do list and always feel incompetent but too poor to “just call the “guy’,” I’ve had a measure of success with a few this year. And I still like to cook, and a few of my improvisations have been BIG successes with the family. Also, I’ve been able to help my parents a little, which has been fantastic, and they in turn have helped us out, for which I am extraordinarily thankful. These successes make me feel happier, like I am able to relate on a level that’s more than just apologetic, (sorry, sorry, I’m so sorry) to everyone. I still struggle with the tasks and the workload, but when I’m happier, it’s just better.
- My Relationship with my kids – Even though they’re sometimes on my last nerve, I’m thankful that in 2015 we’ve been able to connect better than ever. I think the key has been EVERYONE having a
- Healthy Sense of Humour – OhmyFlyingSpaghettiMonster. Stealing this one from La Sabrosona as well. Some of you bloggers make me laugh my ass off. Without you and my family I’d have nothing to inspire me but the news, and I think you all know how I feel about that. And my shitty mood swings. BTW, La, La, La, thanks for nominating me somewhen less down and more up, or this entry would have looked a LOT differently.
And the also lovely and talented
There’s no obligation to do the challenge. If you have time and are up to it, I’d love to read your responses.