Apologizing and Accepting Responsibility

In the United States, social groups are quick to be offended and quick to name-call and quick to point fingers.  These tactics are intended to give the offended, name calling, finger pointers an indefensible advantage over others.  And what happens?  The “offenders” are quick to apologize for whatever perceived offense has been pointed out.  And the apology is tantamount to accepting the validity of the claim, and responsibility for the offense, real or not.  It’s a selfish, hateful behavior the same as taking something tangible from someone else that you haven’t earned, and that’s why

I call bullshit.  And this is bullshit.

I’m a horrible, hateful person when it comes to finger-pointers and name-callers.  Fuck all of you who do this.  In these United States of America, you can say one group is socially privileged over another group.  That’s because you have the right to speak your mind freely, whether your shit is logical or not.  But not because it’s “truth.”

I could point to my own favorite example of racial profiling, when I was passed by a driver of another race and I was the one who got a ticket instead of the other driver, whose offense to society was greater.  The cop was the same race as the person who didn’t get the ticket.  But we were both breaking the speed limit, and I just happened to get caught.  I paid the fine, and the increased insurance penalty.  And I didn’t go to court to protest, because I had no photographic evidence of the white Cadillac that had passed me, going far faster.  And because I was breaking the speed limit.  I submitted to the authority that was over me, and was right about me.

Or I can say there are counter examples through our history showing that it’s not just about your racial identity or another person’s privilege, it’s about what you do.  I’m not saying it’s easy, I’m not saying there’s not a bit of luck involved, or perhaps providential intervention if you believe in such a thing.  But I’m saying, in the United States, there are opportunities for people who work hard.

It used to be the truth.  The past is full of examples of racism in America- Chinese immigrants were hated, Italian immigrants were hated, Irish immigrants were hated, Polish immigrants were hated, Jewish people were hated, Africans were sold into slavery and forced to come to America by other Africans, and hated by non-Africans.  All these groups were mistreated, hated and treated as suspect.  All these groups were denied employment, called names, joked about.  In Germany in World War II, the Jewish people were treated with such hatred they were forced into death camps.  And if you were Oriental in 1940s America, you could have been rounded up and migrated to your own camp in terror of Japanese attacks from inside the United States.

Outside the United States, we’ve watched the Hutus and the Tutsis in conflict in a Rwandan genocide.  We’ve watched the Palestinian pisants biting and baiting Israel, with random rockets, and then they complain of persecution when Israel says, “no more.”  And we’ve watched ISIL shooting and beheading resistance, and the Nigerian kidnappers who claim to be in league with ISIL, but they’re all just bullies who are demanding an unfair, illegitimate advantage.  We need to see selfish bullies for who they are.  Shame on them.

I could accept that there are examples of one race exerting power over another, in law enforcement, but could also cite Chris Rock that submission is the best tactic when dealing with law enforcement.  Don’t break the law, and you’ll be fine.

I could accept that there is wage discrimination, and well there may be.  But I could also city my own Masters Degree education, that I worked very hard to complete, and my own being passed over for promotions in favor of a less-qualified, less-informed person who didn’t know shit about my company and came in to be my boss, and asked me to train them, not just once, but several times.

I could also confess that after the first two times that happened, I quit trying for the promotions because I didn’t have the energy in my frequently depressed state.  Perhaps it wasn’t about me personally, but more my lack of stamina to put myself in the race more than twice.  Perhaps if I listened to Jimmy Valvano and applied what he said, to my life.  I’m accepting personal responsibility for myself.  But I won’t accept responsibility for you, especially if you’re pushing it onto me and off of yourself.

I’m saying that I’m not accepting responsibility for your perceived slight.  I won’t.  I won’t apologize for something I didn’t participate in.  You can say I’m the beneficiary and I don’t believe it.  I don’t care, because I’m not “advantaged” over your feeling “disadvantaged.”  I’m saying that I’m not apologizing for your perceived lack of opportunity.  I won’t.  I’m saying that I’m not accepting your citation of a historical disadvantage, even though it may have been “truth,” it was stamped with an expiration date.  When the person who was actually disadvantaged died, it expired with them.

And finally, I’m saying before you take offense, point fingers, call names or whatever bullshit, look inside to see if your heart resonates with what you’re about to say or do, whether you really believe it’s truth or whether you have doubts about the actual situation.  Ask yourself, and be honest in your answer, whether you’re doing it for your own personal gain, or your own social groups’ gain, or for everyone’s gain, because we only win when we all win.  And look outside, do the research to see what’s truth and what’s rumor and what’s just lies.  And then, don’t.  Just don’t, because it’s bullshit.  Don’t take offense.  Don’t point fingers.  Don’t call names.  Do something productive to contribute to society. My complaints are bullshit, and so are yours.  They’re worthless, in fact, they detract from society while someone is giving me a handout I don’t deserve because I didn’t work for it, I just presumed I deserved it and made noise until someone gave it up to me.

In the grand scheme of things, we only have what we have and not what we don’t have.  If you take what doesn’t belong to you by force, whether resource or unjustified advantage, you’re a worthless bully and your barbaric advantage will be wasted.  If you (and I) work hard and share what does belong to you (and I)- opportunity, time, money, education, and especially, love, you (and I) will feel great and be better for it, whether recognized for it or not.  And trust me:  Someone will notice.

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