I think I’ll write a novel about characters who are completely fucked up, force them to play together and see who survives. It’ll be just like real life. Aren’t we all novels in progress?
Everyone I know, myself included, are a little fucked up in some way(s). I’ll be in it, once or twice, myself and I. After all, Deon Mumple is as much a work of fiction as you think he is. Or maybe moreso. Edon Pleumm can be my French alias, I suppose Or maybe the simpler Nom De Plume… yeah figure that one out–use all the letters, now. WTH were my parents thinking. I guess it’s funny. Who the fuck knew I’d want to write? So if you were wondering why I’m a writer and why I’m a little fucked up, I guess there’s a clue right there. Thanks, Mum! And Dad.
Deon Mumple, the fictional one anyway, can be a serial killer in the mode of … (pardon my ADD, but I could be Mode Plenum too… wtf is a plenum anyway? Oh holy shit, I just looked that up and it’s something about fullness, or compressed gas, or hot air if you will… fml. Or Demon Plume, I like that one better, don’t you?) … a fictional serial killer in the mode of fictional Dexter Morgan, because in real life I have a conscience and rage and I think evil should be exterminated. Except, how boring to always kill people the same way? Deon would strive “to let the punishment fit the crime, the punishment fit the crime,” like he learned from Gilbert & Sullivan.
If Deon dies, he should be treated in a special way, perhaps dying in the mode of one of his fantasies. Maybe he should meet several of the women he has flirted with, damned sexy writers all of them, orchestrated by his soon-to-be ex-wife, the poor widower, and they all have his way with him, with the coup de grâce causing a fatal heart attack, being delivered by the hot wife herself, after all, she deserves justice too, doesn’t she? Deon Mumple is a complete ass anyway. He deserves nothing better. I mean, a fine, classy woman like Mrs. M. should be treated with the proper level of respect, not for being awesome, but just for being a woman.
If he doesn’t die, the fictional Deon should gently bring Mrs. M. into his dark world and they can be a team of killers, OR, maybe Mrs. M. might have an agenda all her own that is even more compelling than simple dark justice, and she draws him into her world and out of his shell.
I’ll percolate this. Do any of my six followers think that might be interesting reading?
It’s either a novel idea that’ll make me millions, or it’s a shitty idea that should never see ink hitting paper.