Yrtaihcysp Ni Sdnert Dna Hcraeser: New Study Is Interpreted Ass Backwards
Why does a child gravitate toward a particular social group? A new psychiatric study suggests that people who choose the “goth” subculture are at an increased risk of being subjected to bullying, experiencing depression and acting out in self harming ways. This from the doctors at the Journal Lancet Psychiatry. It couldn’t possibly be that depression, being bullied, and the propensity to self harm increases the probability that the person will feel a connection to the subculture. No, not at all. What the sunshine fuck drugs are you taking, doctors? You’ve got all the symptoms right, but you’ve got the connections completely ass backward. And I’d bet a lot of people who really do experience depressive symptoms and feel an affinity for the goth social group will confirm it.
I identify with the goth subculture a lot of the time. I wanted to be goth 35 years before goth was goth. When my parents tried to dress me funny, by which I mean goofy looking clothes, bright colours, I objected. I objected because those kinds of clothes drew attention to me, from people I wanted to ignore me. Except I didn’t know how to express it so my parents could understand. The bullies were laser-focused in on my insecurity already, the stupid clothes just drew additional unwanted attention. The only “bright” color I wanted to wear was a sort of dark purple, as an accent to the black I wanted to predominantly wear. So what did my parents make me wear? Brown or white shoes, blue jeans or tan or t00-blue dress slacks, all with goofy looking sharp creases… horrible white or some other bright colour dress shirts. Yellow? Powder blue? Really? Ugh. Only by my strenuous objection I didn’t have a damned pocket protector which I swear could have killed me of embarrassment without any bully required to deal the death blow. And I had a brown shirt or two but they were tan, nothing dark or black like I wanted.
When my parents took me to the city, I loved the buildings with Gothic architecture. I never went inside any, but I wanted to. We would drive past the buildings and I would look up in silent awe at how beautiful they were. There was a church that was made of black stones with pointed spires, and I always thought that was the most beautiful building, but I can’t find a picture. My wife likes the Art Deco movement, art, architecture, etc. It’s OK, but it’s not as beautiful to me. And looking at American culture (by which I mean the United States), most people think the buildings I think are beautiful works of art are just creepy. When the other kids dreamed of living in castles, I dreamed of this: If I had my way, and enough money, I’d buy a dark old Gothic church and live there. I’d still do it.
When my parents took me to the city, it was to go to the doctor to get treatment for certain developmental issues. I had a stroke as a fairly young person. The treatment and exercise plan was so well executed that as an adult, no one notices until they see me walking or see me when I’m tired. But as a young child, it was too obvious.
When I read through my dad’s books the characters I loved were the solitary, brooding, quiet but intelligent pulp fiction heroes. Conan. Tarzan. Batman. Kull. And apparently he likes them too. They lived in, some even blended into, a society of sorts, but underneath they had a darkness that fed them and made them strong and independent of that society. When my family watched musicals, because my mum loves them, I’d watch Oklahoma and the character I most identified with was Judd Fry. When it came out, I strongly identified with the Phantom of the Opera. I wanted to be the hero, but I was the ogre, the monster, before being a relatively friendly monster was celebrated. I wanted to be the winner, but I was not physically capable of it. These characters I most strongly identified with are goth.
Hereditary factors. Subjected to major life crises, subjected to bullying, socially outcast, awkward, feelings of inadequacy… sound familiar? That was my whole fucking childhood, doctors. So I like Vampires and wolves (but not werewolves) and witches and Wolverine, Punisher and Panic! At The Disco and Pierce the Veil, and Batman and Bach, Mozart, Metallica and even some Maroon 5, The Doors, The Rolling Stones, and I feel a deep connection to younger souls who’ve lived through it and suffer chronic depression or depressive episodes. The end is not the origin, doctors. The origin is the origin. The subculture developed because we didn’t fit in to the popular crowd we envied and watched from the dark shadows. Because I can’t escape the darkness, I embrace it. There’s something about decorations for Halloween that could feature just a little more black, a candle, a simple skull without all the stupid lights and sounds. And a door, painted black.