Dear God, Thanks So Much, This SUCKS.

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  (I Thessalonians 5)

Dear God,

Thanks so much.  Fuck me, today, this season, this fucking tidal wave, completely sucks bigger than I can comprehend or manage.  It’s a shit storm of I can’t handle any of it.  While it might be nice to understand why, I would much rather have you fix all the shit that’s broken, including things that I can’t afford to fix or replace, and especially, including me, since I have been taught that You can.

Please.  There’s too much stress and financial crap and family things and everyfuckingthing and I can’t deal with it.  I want to shut down and hibernate until it’s stabilized, or until I can figure out what to do, which has been a lifetime of I can’t in the past, therefore it’s illogical to expect anything different in the future.

Thanks again for the fun and pardon my sarcasmic response to it, but that ‘s the only sacrifice I can give.

Do I matter at all?
~Deon

The character from Dexter, Debra Morgan, said it perfectly.  I can’t say it better:

Dexter: Dirty Harry (#4.5)” (2009)
Det. Debra Morgan: It doesn’t matter what I do or what I choose. I’m what’s wrong. There’s nothing I can do about it. If I’m not hurting myself, I’m hurting everyone around me. There’s nothing I can do about it. I’m… I’m broken.

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6 thoughts on “Dear God, Thanks So Much, This SUCKS.

  1. Quoting lines from Dexter is for me, what quoting Shakespeare is to others. Dexter is awesome, so well written, so realistic. Proof that you can have monstrous qualities yet still be oddly, humane.

    No platitudes. It all sucks.; We’re riders of the doubledecker suck bus and the driver is a deaf blind dementia ridden sadist.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time. Maybe God isn’t being kind to you at your time of need, but I can’t say anything as faith is different for everyone. What I can say is, if you feel overwhelmed just write. It helped me a lot and ventilation is the key to fighting off that darkness. I’m sorry if I can’t be of much help. Just trying to help however I can. And don’t lose hope. Hope is everything. Take care mate.

    Like

    1. Yup, I’d say exactly the same thing to you- I know from past experience these feelings don’t last forever. I’ll be fine. it just sucks to go through it. So I confess I feel those lousy emotions, and thanks for encouraging me. I appreciate you.

      Liked by 1 person

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