16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (I Thessalonians 5)
Thanks so much. Fuck me, today, this season, this fucking tidal wave, completely sucks bigger than I can comprehend or manage. It’s a shit storm of I can’t handle any of it. While it might be nice to understand why, I would much rather have you fix all the shit that’s broken, including things that I can’t afford to fix or replace, and especially, including me, since I have been taught that You can.
Please. There’s too much stress and financial crap and family things and everyfuckingthing and I can’t deal with it. I want to shut down and hibernate until it’s stabilized, or until I can figure out what to do, which has been a lifetime of I can’t in the past, therefore it’s illogical to expect anything different in the future.
Thanks again for the fun and pardon my sarcasmic response to it, but that ‘s the only sacrifice I can give.
Do I matter at all?
The character from Dexter, Debra Morgan, said it perfectly. I can’t say it better:
Dexter: Dirty Harry (#4.5)” (2009)
Det. Debra Morgan: It doesn’t matter what I do or what I choose. I’m what’s wrong. There’s nothing I can do about it. If I’m not hurting myself, I’m hurting everyone around me. There’s nothing I can do about it. I’m… I’m broken.