I’m going to do it. I’m going to succeed. Or I’m going to suck, I suppose it’s best left for the reader to decide. But I’m finishing the challenge issued by the curvaceous and delicious La Sabrosona, apparently her husband feels like he’s at least as lucky a bastard as I am for marrying so well. Marriage is a good thing, at least for straight guys. The Bible doesn’t address any other “‘marital’ arrangements,” so I haven’t got a clue about whether those are good or not. The song title in my title isn’t the quote of the day; this isn’t the quote of the day, but it says,
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord.”~ Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV)
Nowhere in there does it say anything about “she who finds a husband.” This makes me a little unhappy. It’s unbalanced, it’s not fair, because I want to be a blessing for my wife and I’m not written in as a “good thing.” What the hell? Nor is my presence in the relationship listed as a “favor from the Lord.” Nope. She’s the only good thing in the relationship. Shit! And then in the New Testament Paul says husbands ought to love their wives like Jesus loved the church and died for her!!! (Ephesians 5) Shades of “The Princess Bride” there, it is one of my favorite movies. The prince died and came back for “true love.” Jesus did too but that’s a subject for another blog. I’m sorry, I’m not interested in loving my wife to death. Until death, sure, but to (my) death?
“It’s killing me, but I love you, honey!” Yup.
Ain’t no such thing as “God’s gift to women,” guys. Hang that up. But apparently a wife is God’s gift to a man. The writers seem to agree on this, from Genesis on. See Genesis 2, God made the lady and presented her to the shmuck, and it was love at first sight.
Who’s the fool for falling in love? Looks like a toss-up. I’m the fool for loving her to (my) death, she’s the fool for not realizing she’s there to be a blessing to me; I’m just supposed to die trying to bless her back. People, especially women, hate that Ephesians 5 shit. Because people, especially men, love to misinterpret and leave stuff out of that Ephesians 5 shit. But they love that whole “Love Chapter,” I Corinthians 13. If they read it right, and did it right, whether it was Ephesians or I Corinthians, there’d be a whole lot fewer divorces. I’ll bet $42,000,000,000 I’m right, and I volunteer to arbitrate any marital disputes according to the text. Any takers? I’m ready for your “Dear Deon” cards and letters. But to be fair, each person in the relationship has to write their own letter, I need at least two per couple, to be able to call whomever needs to be called, out.
But love seems to be a great thing for us humans, no matter that it turns us into raving lunatics. We men write love poems and letters, we create, we go to war, we work our whole lives to earn money to buy nice things to give, and some of you lovely ladies do the same thing, all for love. I think it’s a chemical imbalance, but if not for love, ‘twixt a man and a woman, I suppose I wouldn’t be here. Unless it was done in a test tube. One of my favorite authors reflected upon this, between pulp fiction novels:
“I loved her. I still love her, though I curse her in my sleep, so nearly one are love and hate, the two most powerful and devastating emotions that control man, nations, life.”~ Edgar Rice Burroughs
If love is a bitch, hate must be worse. Or maybe they’re equal. And they are indeed devastating upon life itself. In the more modern vernacular, I “feel” you, Edgar. In the less modern, I understand. And you’re right, Edgar. Love and hate must be close as lover to lover. Or murderer to victim.
And Mr. Burroughs wrote so tenderly, so powerfully, so emotionally, but also wrote the Tarzan series, among others.