Fucking Positive

I had to laugh at my own title selection, quite literally.  But it fits.

Not long ago someone posted one of those blogging challenges and said to use the word “positive.”  My brain went, “how do I write ‘I’m positive ____ sucks?'” and then proceeded to fill in the blank with a few possible selections, but I didn’t actually write any down.  Well, today I’m writing on that challenge because I had a cup of coffee and when I reached the bottom I had a number of positive thoughts.  I’m going to list them but first, you need to know that when I reached the bottom of my cup of black coffee, there was a small, deceased ant carcass in there.  It wasn’t a big one, only about a centimeter long.  But I wasn’t really all that pleased, until I had these positive thoughts:

1o) That little bastard was dead.
9) I didn’t drink it, or worse, choke on it.
8) It was small.  I hate those big-ass ants, especially the ones with those pincers.
7) It didn’t adversely affect the flavor of the coffee.
6) I don’t think I was poisoned, much.
5) I’m not one of those law-suit prone people, plus the coffee was from home in my own cup, so I haven’t missed out on a 3 million dollar opportunity because who the hell has time and money to sue other people?
4) the little bastard didn’t drink much.  I hate sharing my coffee with anyone.
3) It wasn’t a spider or a wasp or something worse.
2) There was only one.
1) My refill doesn’t have an ant in it, at least I hope it doesn’t.

See?  Life is great.  I’m fucking positive.

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