Top 10 Reasons I’m Not a Successful Internet Scammer

10: I have a moral code where there are actually things that are right and good, and the other things are evil and bad. Evil, bad things shouldn’t be unleashed on the world if at all possible to restrain.

9: I have a daytime job. It’s not a lot of money, but it’s honest.

8: I’m not tech savvy enough. I don’t have a Paypal account, an offshore account in the Cayman’s…  Do they teach courses on How To Be a Successful Thieving Hacking Fuckhead in college?

7: Although I frequently wish it weren’t true, I actually care about people, even if they are stupid jerks.

6: I think it would be more fun trying a “Catfish” scheme (online dating).  But I’m married, so I won’t even do that.  Plus, I actually AM cooler and cuter in real life than I am online.  The pictures and this blog don’t do me justice.

5: I don’t want to cause another person injury by potentially stealing money they need for medicine, food, or shelter.

4: I don’t want someone casting a voodoo curse on me, or hunting me down personally and shooting me.

3: I’d be the one person they bothered to track down and arrest.  How come I don’t ever hear about people getting arrested for pulling this kind of shit on other people?

2: I don’t have a strong enough sense of personal entitlement

1: I’m not a completely unscrupulous ass hole.


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